Marg

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nittineedles
Name:
Marg
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Port Alberni, BC
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Design

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Nittineedles

Entertainment > Humor > Funnies
 

Funnies



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Howard dies and waits in line for judgment. He notices that some souls go right into heaven, while Satan throws others into a burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, the devil tosses it aside.
Curious, Howard asks Satan, "Excuse me, but why are you tossing them aside instead of flinging them into hell with the others?"
"They're from Port Alberni," Satan replies. "They're too wet to burn."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob."
The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That's okay. We like big boobs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

posted on Nov 7, 2010 8:47 PM ()

Comments:

comment by augusta on Nov 10, 2010 4:02 PM ()
Does this mean you are feeling better? I hope so.
comment by elderjane on Nov 9, 2010 6:31 AM ()
I feel great!
reply by nittineedles on Nov 9, 2010 8:41 AM ()
I love the last one.....very typical.
comment by gapeach on Nov 8, 2010 7:41 PM ()
hee hee my laughs for the day

reguards
yer chuckling pal
bugg
comment by honeybugg on Nov 8, 2010 4:17 PM ()
Love the funnies
comment by febreze on Nov 8, 2010 3:07 PM ()
Sounds like my football game yesterday afternoon.
comment by fredo on Nov 8, 2010 10:01 AM ()
I like to think the bishop made a Freudian slip. So, obviously, you should stay wet as the end nears. Was Ann properly chastised?
comment by tealstar on Nov 8, 2010 4:58 AM ()
All these tips are impressive. Makes me want to knit something, I think.
comment by tealstar on Nov 8, 2010 4:56 AM ()
I'm working on scarf number 8 or 9 of the Christmas project to give a bunch to a group of people at a clinic. I'm determined the next one is going to have a cable pattern in it so I can learn how and get some practice.
comment by troutbend on Nov 7, 2010 9:43 PM ()
just don't forget you have stored it in your jumper it can be very painful or expensive if you put it in the washing machine lol i remember when i started knitting cables I had to have a cable needle removed from my buttock in hospital lol I now remember to check my chair before I sit down
reply by janeway4eva on Nov 8, 2010 3:01 AM ()
Tip for knitting cables: Wear a sweater so you can poke the cable needle into it for storage when not in use. It works for me.
reply by nittineedles on Nov 8, 2010 12:25 AM ()

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