The one to call for your next pizza order?
For a good time, call......?
Help line for wimpy women who haven't got the guts to tell their Mother-In-Law to BUT OUT?
Not quite. Somewhere in this wide, wide world is a gent who may or may not be named Jonathan who knows all about my battle of the bulge thanks to my M-I-L. She actually called him to find out all the information I would need to join. Sorry Mother but at $329 a month it's a bit too pricey for me, unless of course you're paying for it. Now, where is the "Channel" for mortified and embarrassed to the hilt?

A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"