The long, dark days of January has us midwesterners searching for things to do (if we're retired).

My local gardener/chef "expert" has a column in the newspaper ("Thyme with Rosemary", tee hee) about a variety of food topics. Want something to do?

This week, she suggests: "Time to toss out those spices, canned goods gathering dust in the pantry" (that was the actual title). I'm still chortling over it--not because it's bad advice, but because I have broken every rule in the book. Plus, I can't imagine me ever doing what Rosemary recommends.

She has 6 months maximum cupboard storage times for dry milk powder, flour, dried fruit; two years for molasses, for some examples. She would have a cow if she knew I've had powdered milk for 15 years and a jug of molasses for 30 years! I seldom use either. As soon as I'd toss them, I'd need them for some recipe. If I bought new, they could (and would) sit on the shelf just as long. I'm not about to throw them out and purchase new. They're "perfectly" fine.

My pantry has dozens of items that have "expired", according to Rosemary's time limits. And if my refrigerator foods have been in there too long (over one month for butter, four for pickles, for example), then she would be aghast at how long I've had stuff in my freezer. I mean I pull out 20 year old cherries, 5 yr. old applesauce, year old turkey, and much, much, more!

Go ahead, laugh at me. But honestly, I can't detect any foul taste in "old" pickles or freezer slaw. If my aged cheese gets moldy, I cut it off. I'm still alive.

I have a cupboard full of spices. Cooking for only myself, I don't consume them very fast. If I were to go by the expiration dates, I'd have to discard, then buy new products before I even barely used any of them. If spices "degrade" over time, I'll simply use more of them in my cooking.

Listen, I don't have moths or worms. I keep flours and such in a freezer. I try to use up shelf and fridge items quickly. I'm just not going to toss everything out of date. Besides, it's a ploy. They want you to buy new products. It's like your local service station insisting on changing your car's oil every 3000 mi. Your buyer's guide says 7500 mi. Likewise, I double up the expired dates on foods (except dairy and meat). Otherwise, I'd be in the poor house.