Have fun with this brilliant quiz,

1. If you joined the circus, what act would you most want to perform?

A: The lady who stands and does somersaults on the horse.

2. You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to correct the mistake?

A: I'm greedy. I'd want both.

3. What is the most beautiful man-made object?

A: A baby.

4. If you were a migrating bird, where would you fly for the winter?

A: Anywhere warm and dry but not hot and parched.

5. What is the longest walk you've ever taken?

A: Delivering newspapers in my neighbourhood. The first time it took three hours.

6. What item that you don’t currently possess would you most like to have in your home?

A: My family.....but only for Christmas.

7. You have arranged an evening with a friend, but on the day preceding your date a special opportunity arises to do something much more exciting. How do you handle the situation?

A: If she was a REAL friend, she'd understand and if I was a REAL friend, I'd forgo the exciting opportunity.

8. You were on your way to the store to play the lottery, and a friend asked you to play his/her lottery number for them while you were out. The friend asked you to pay for the ticket and he/she would give you the money when you returned. Before you returned with their ticket you found out their number won for $2.5 million. Would you give them the winning ticket even though they never gave you the money to pay for it?

A: F*** OFF! It's MY ticket! Mine! You hear? All mine!

9. For $1 million would you be willing to never again see or talk to your best friend?

A: Absolutely not. It would have to be, at least, $2.5 million.

10. You’re watching the season premiere episode of your favorite TV show when you receive a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Would you talk to your friend and miss the show, or would you return the call when the show ended?

A: If it's the season premiere of my favourite show I don't even look at the call display let alone answer the phone.

11. What particular sound annoys you the most?

A: The dog lady's voice and her bloody barking dogs.

12. You’ve won $25 million in the lottery.

A: Brand new car, open a yarn shop, go to Ireland

13. Your close friend asks - and genuinely wants - your opinion on something, but your opinion is one that he is likely to find quite painful. Would you tell him the truth?

A: He asked for it. He'll get it.

14. Would you like to know the precise date of your death?

A: Absolutely not.

15. You've been given the ability to be invisible for 24 hours. What would you do during that time?

A: Around here, I AM invisible, most of the time.

16. If you were to name the absolute best gift you ever received as a child, what would it be?

A: My first budgie, Marty.

17. What one Christmas tradition would you never want to give up?

A: Having family over for Christmas dinner.

18. What is the largest gift you've ever received?

A: My crappola car.

19. What is the most expensive gift you've ever received?

A: My crappola car.

20. What is the most expensive gift you've ever given?

A: A gas barbecue for DH's birthday.

21. What is the best time you've ever had with your family?

A: The Christmas all my kids and grandkids were here.

22. If you were at a friend’s house for a holiday dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?

A: Feign illness and go home for supper.

23. What’s the dumbest purchase you’ve ever made?

A: The gas barbecue that hasn't been used since the summer it was purchased.

24. What is the most romantic present anyone has ever given you?

A: My annual anniversary flowers.

25. What is the most useful gift you’ve ever been given?

A: It would have to be the crappola car that I use almost daily.