I received my Christmas newsletter from that very dear friend who I never see, who never calls and never writes (except for the Christmas newsletter). It's a whole typed page, chock full of juicy tidbits like where she and hubby travelled this past year, who they visited, who visited them, what their kids are doing and details of the birth of their latest grandchild. The whole thing is upbeat, even when she wrote about her husband's heart attack she sounded bubbly and happy. Not having had much contact with her for the past 25 years or so I don't have a clue who any of the people she is talking about are. When I'm finished reading it I have the distinct impression she is saying, in a round about way, "We are just SOOO incredibly popular." In return she receives a signed Christmas card. One year I would love to send her a Christmas newsletter. It would be something like this:

Hello,
Season's Greetings from me to you. I thought I'd let you all know how the past year has treated Bill and me.
Last Christmas Jr and his family were planning on being with us over the holidays but his youngest caught some bug and they decided to stay home however, he assured us they would be attending the big family reunion Bill and I had been organizing since last summer.
In January I broke my leg when I slipped and fell while shovelling the snow. A cast and crutches sure make it difficult to get around in unshovelled snow. I had to tell Bill I was gonna beat him with my crutch if he didn't get out there and get shovelling. Breathing all that cold air is what probably gave him the pneumonia but good news, he was only hospitalized for a week.
February was nice and quiet what with Bill and I recuperating. Some flowers or candy would have been nice on Valentine's day but you know what guys are like when it comes to special occasions.
March came in like a lion and went out like a lion what with the wind and the rain and the unseasonable snow falls.
April 15th was Bill's 65th birthday and his mandatory retirement began the same day. I'm embarrassed to admit I completely forgot about his birthday. Bill is finding retirement difficult. He hasn't been able to discover a worth while project to work on. It can't cost much due to being on a fixed income now. I'd be happy if he just left the house for a walk or something once in a while.
May was so stressful for Bill he got shingles.
June was so stressful for me I got shingles.
July we were supposed to go camping at Lake Winnowonka with Jane and Joe but Joe told Bill they couldn't make it because of work commitments. Jane confided to me that they just can't stand to be around Bill for an hour, let alone two whole weeks.
Early in August Bowser got himself tangled in barbed wire and Bill and I spent the day and $2876.43 at the vet's. Unfortunately that was the day of the family reunion so we missed it. Such a shame. There were relatives there we hadn't seen in years and probably won't ever get another chance to see. Jr and his family couldn't make it but he assured me he was going to fly out for my birthday. Uncle Bob missed it too but that's because he died the week before.
September 17 was our wedding anniversary and as usual Bill forgot but you know how men are about these things.
October 5 was my birthday and as usual Bill forgot as did three of our four kids (including Jr). The one who remembered called and.......Oh, wait a minute. He didn't remember my birthday either. He just wanted us to send him some money for his girlfriend's abortion. Not to worry, though. It wasn't his baby.
I woke up one day last month and took a good long look at my life. Then I told Bill he had a week to move out of the house or I'd make his life the living hell he's made mine. The weasel took the coward's way out and stepped in front of a bus (may he rest in peace).
December 1st I was evicted and I'm now living at the Fourth Street Shelter. It's warm and it's dry and mostly the people are nice.
Writing this newsletter has taken some of the weight off of me. I think I'll do one one these every Christmas.
I hope all is well with you and wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Betsy


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