If you read my previous post, you know about my golfing with Pastor Ed. This has really nothing about him, but about the question he posed to me the other day.

From out of nowhere, Ed asked, "So what blows up your skirt?" Then, "What floats your boat?" I had to pause and think for a moment as to what he was asking and how to answer. It caught me by surprise.

I've thought about my answer days after. And while I'm not thrilled about my initial response, sometimes the first thing you think of is the correct one, and, in my case, the most honest.

Ed's light-hearted questions really had deep philosophical overtones (undertones?). In other words, what do I live for?

I suppose I live for myself. My main goal in life is to stay alive for as long as possible. That's what I told him. I work hard not to die, period. Most of you know I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. My entire days are filled (consumed?) with taking care of myself. The foods I eat, my exercise routines, my hobbies--it's all about staying active and alive, forever, if I could.

I realize this sounds selfish, and I tried to deny it, but it's the bottom line--the truth. I felt guilty and ashamed when, after I asked Ed the same question, he said he lived for others! What "floats his boat" is helping ("saving"?) others. That is certainly more noble than my self-serving goal.

This is not to say I don't help others. I have many "causes"-- give to the Red Cross, volunteer in many ways, etc. So I rationalize that yes, I live for myself, BUT, I'm not entirely selfish. I'm paying big bucks to fly my kids and grandkids "home" this summer. I'm good to my sisters and father. I gave 32 years of my life to teaching youngsters.

I suppose I simply love life too much to be willing to give it up "early". But if I die tomorrow, I'm happy with where I've been and done.