Gwen

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gwensgifts
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Gwen
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Many Sides Of G

Life & Events > Relationships > I Did Something Dumb
 

I Did Something Dumb

Not only was it dumb and wrong. It was an invitation for definite hurt. Therefore all signs say don't do it, but I did it anyway. I guess I wanted to remind myself again not to hold on to false hope of how unique, special and hard to forget I am.

When I got the cell phone bill (still on family talk plan to save money-neither of us have home phones)- I looked at his itemized calls. His conversations with this girl are like up to 4 hrs long. I don't think he's talked 4 hours to me in the last 2 years combined.

I was so dumb to stay so long, waste so much of my life, wait until I had let myself go...

Even stupider to keep torturing myself and putting myself down.

posted on Apr 18, 2008 12:00 PM ()

Comments:

Never dumb, Gwen.
comment by janetk on Apr 22, 2008 6:03 AM ()
Here's some advice. Find a sitter for the kids. Drive out to some remote location where no one can hear you. Yell f**K at the top of your lungs until you can't yell no more. After you have calmed down, find some good friends and go to a club. Not a bar but a club where there's music and dancing. When you dance you build endorphines and saratonin. That helps you keep happy. The friends are someone to hang out with to keep your mind of old what's his name. You are a beautiful, intellegent, and caring person. Someday you'll have someone to talk to for hours at a time. Keep leaning on your mybloggers buddies(sorry that didn't sound right.) We are long distant friends.
comment by draco on Apr 21, 2008 5:13 PM ()
Two years is the average length of time it takes most people to leave. You didn't want to give up - that shows how much the marriage means to you.
comment by catdancer on Apr 20, 2008 11:38 AM ()
Seeing it in black and white is never comforting but does take all blinders off. Take care and know that I am so sorry! I loved your added frogs. Too cute!
comment by frogfenatic on Apr 19, 2008 10:31 PM ()
O h come on.....you had a hunch, so you looked....good for you! Now you are stronger!
comment by ocean1 on Apr 19, 2008 7:04 PM ()
Incredible....
comment by strider333 on Apr 18, 2008 10:46 PM ()
I can understand your need to look at those bills - erases all doubt - and now you have something to galvanize your resolve to make a change. I so admire you for taking the steps you are to move on with your life.
comment by troutbend on Apr 18, 2008 8:29 PM ()
No. Now, you’re only doing something dumb if you don’t kick yourself in the arse and become who you want to be and don’t look back.

comment by dazeymae on Apr 18, 2008 6:03 PM ()
ditto to all comments above....throw his crap out onto the lawn and tell him not to let the screen door hit him in the a--. ((((huggs from buggs)))

reguards
yer easier said than done...I know pal
bugg
comment by honeybugg on Apr 18, 2008 5:13 PM ()
You and I are the result of being trustworthy to people who don't know the meaning of the word "trust." You have to let him go, Gwen, and think of yourself. Those kind of people will NEVER change. You know that.
comment by jondude on Apr 18, 2008 4:53 PM ()
They are playing a game with each other. Wait until she tries to live with him and finds out what he is really like. Her balloon will burst in her face. He is the idiot and one day he will wake up all alone.
comment by gapeach on Apr 18, 2008 3:36 PM ()
((((hugs))) You aren't dumb. You were trusting. He is the dumb one.
comment by anniel on Apr 18, 2008 3:32 PM ()
*hugs tight*
comment by elfie33 on Apr 18, 2008 12:59 PM ()
Are you dumb for caring and wanted to be cared about- NO! Don't put yourself down for him not caring about your feelings- and obviously he didn't if he knows that you receive the bill. I know people say this all the time and it really doesn't make sense but "it does get better". Give your self a moment to cry - it will take awhile to get over the hurt- but in time your heart heals- never forgets- but heals!
comment by mytwoloves on Apr 18, 2008 12:48 PM ()
What?? Was he cheating??
Oh man... insult to injury... I am so sorry!!!
This is the worst part of the breakup, the hurts just keep on coming...
When I am feeling overwhelmed with emotion I cry and listen to the song Breath by Anna Naylick (sp?) and remind myself to "Breathe, just breathe"
I feel for ya girl, I do!!! {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}
comment by kristilyn3 on Apr 18, 2008 12:06 PM ()
I am sorry! *HUHG*
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on Apr 18, 2008 12:02 PM ()

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