Here is the letter I have written to the school. Please give me your opinions.

My son, Kota, is in the first grade. His teacher is Mr. T. We have been having escalating problems with his behavior at school. And while it is normal to blame the parents I believe there is something more going on here. I would have to say his behavior problems started on his bus ride. He had an altercation with another first grader. She was calling him names, stinky bitch, fatty, etc. Dakota could not ignore her as I had instructed him to do with bullies. He slapped her. I am not sure if the other student was punished but Dakota was kicked off the bus for one day. When he comes home from school I hear the same two names mentioned by him. They are both in his class and I know at least one rides his bus also. I have tried explaining to him not to react to bullies. I feel Dakota sees these children are allowed to get away with this behavior and he has no one to turn to. So he lashes out. I am not saying my son is completely without blame. But I feel the escalation in his behavior is due to him being constantly picked on and called names. He has lost interest in school, where he once loved it. I know he really admires his teacher although he has also been disrespectful to him. Dakota is a child who believes everyone is a potential friend. He does not understand why children call him names or make fun of him. He came home one day in tears because he was being called stupid in class.

On Friday April 18th, I had to pick Dakota up at school. He had been kicked off the bus before it could leave school grounds. When I was asked if Dakota was witness to any domestic violence I was quite shocked. My husband and I never even raise our voices to each other and if we have disagreements we certainly do not have them in front of our child. I was also angered by this question. I understand there is alot of domestic violence and children are usually right in the middle of it. However, I feel the school is looking for answers outside of their responsibility. The reason he got kicked off the bus on Friday was also another shock to me. When we got home I talked to Dakota about what happened. The bus driver had given the children assigned seats. Dakota was seated next to the girl who had called him names and who he had slapped previously. And that incident happened on the bus. So to seat him next to this girl was not a good choice. We do not have behavior problems like this with Dakota at home. He is helpful, respectful and truly a joy to be around. We have elderly neighbors on both sides of us and they just love to have Dakota come over to visit. He frequently helps them with chores around their yard. To hear of these problems at school, it is like you are talking about a completely different child than Dakota. Yes, we have some problems at home. But they are normal problems that ever child has. I feel that Dakota is having a problem with being bullied at school and that is what all this comes down to. I was also the victim of bullying in school so I can see Dakota's recent behavior as a result of that. When I picked up Dakota this past friday you would not believe the change in his temperament. At school he was withdrawn and would not talk to Dr. A(asst principal). We got in the car, we discussed what happened and I told him I was not happy with his behavior. We got home and it was like I had flipped a light switch. He was chatting away and smiling and talking about what we could do this weekend. It was like a weight had been lifted from him because he would have two days off of school.

I do not blame his teacher Mr. T. He is only one person in charge of approximately 24 other children. Dakota has told me when he tells Mr. T that someone is picking him, that child has to flip their behavior card to red. However, as soon as Mr. T is not looking they continue to pick on Dakota. This causes Dakota to lash out and not want to report when someone is calling his names. He sees that they are not really being punished and the harassment continues.

I don't know what the resolution to this is, but I feel its a much bigger picture than Dakota simply having behavior problems at school. I am looking into counseling for him as I feel it would also be a good idea. Perhaps they can help him deal with the proper way to react to name calling and other verbal abuse.

In my opinion, these children have learned that if they pick on Dakota he is going to do something to get himself in trouble. I don't understand what enjoyment they get out of that but that seems to be the reaction they are going for. Now it is my son who is being labeled as the bad child, the one always in trouble. I do not feel that is accurate.