Randy

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Username:: solitaire
Name:: Randy
Location:: Rossville, IN
Birthday:: 03/24
Status:: Single
Job / Career:: Human Resources

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Business > Tandem

Tandem

Remember the Kermit, the Frog, song, "It's not easy being green"? I sometimes think that true about being single.

We live in a world where it is assumed everyone has a mate of some sort or another. And that we do everything in pairs.

In my recent Vegetarian Times magazine (even though I'm not), recipes are for at least two people. Backpacker mag always refers to hiking with a partner of the opposite sex.
Just two of many examples of "life in pairs".

We just had Valentines Day-for couples. I think we should have "Singles Day". It would be celebrated in recognition of all us solitaires. We are greatly ignored in today's society, yet we constitute a sizeable percentage of "family households".

I mean most holidays are for two or more: Christmas, Easter, Independence Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, not to mention Mothers and Fathers Days, and the above mentioned Valentines Day. It's difficult to go out and celebrate these special days with non-family members. Yes, I have a family, but they don't live with me.
Opening up Christmas presents by myself or shooting fireworks alone, is a rather depressing thought. And sad.

We singles need to rise up! Demand respect for our lifestyle. Recipes for one. Activities for one. Appreciation for the power of going solo.

Do I ever get invited to a party or happening? Noooo. Why not? I'm single. Do I ever go out to eat in a restaurant? Hardly ever. Why not? It's lonely sitting at a table by oneself. (I felt weird eating alone in restaurants during my Florida excursion.)

Let's see, how many of my mybloggers friends live alone? Quite a few of us. This is my main social network. I look forward to reading and writing from and to you all. I can socialize with fellow golfers (all men--boo) in the summertime, but this is basically the extent of "conversation" during winter, besides my immediate family (not always pleasant).

I think something should be done to rectify this lack of respect for living alone.
So what do you say, fellow soloists and sympathizers? Peaceful protests or riot?

posted on Feb 16, 2011 6:40 AM ()

Comments:

I've thought about that singles restaurant idea. I think it'd be like a diner with counter service. You'd perch on that stool next to other single people and nobody would be watching to see if your lettuce fell off your fork or a stray strand of spaghetti had to get sucked in.

comment by troutbend on Feb 20, 2011 1:47 PM ()

While there are a lot of benefits to being single, like you, I find being single a disadvantage sometimes. I don't eat in restaurants a lot either because it is awkward eating alone.

comment by dragonflyby on Feb 18, 2011 8:50 AM ()

We could start up a "singles only" restaurant! One chair tables. No talking allowed, no gawking. Interesting concept, eh?

reply by solitaire on Feb 20, 2011 5:53 AM ()

OK, you love being single. Your complaint is a general one about singles being left out and you would like this phenomenon to be noticed. I reiterate: Most single men do not have this problem. Single women do. If you have it, it isn't the single thing. It's, perhaps, that you send out signals that you are not interested.

comment by tealstar on Feb 17, 2011 7:32 AM ()

True, I'm not.

reply by solitaire on Feb 18, 2011 4:57 AM ()

I hear the global nature of your singles rant. But I also note you say you have no friends. So my encouragement to get out and make come friend connections still stands! I love being single, but I know my life is just more fun with friends!

comment by marta on Feb 17, 2011 6:55 AM ()

See my new post addendum! But I hear you.

reply by solitaire on Feb 18, 2011 4:55 AM ()

In the book I'm reading, it says that single people wish to be
married, and married people wish to be single.

Recipes are
annoying, no matter how many you are feeding. Made a recipe
yesterday that feeds 6... well, 2 of the 4 in the house ate it, so LOTS of
leftovers.

comment by crazylife on Feb 16, 2011 8:55 PM ()

The grass is always greener on the other side. When I'm alone, I wish I was around others. When I'm with others, I wish I was alone! Regarding food: I'm the leftovers king!

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:58 AM ()

In the first few months of my long divorce process I told a friend down at the coffee shop that I couldn't stand being alone. He said that he enjoyed it. I couldn't imagine then that I prefer it now. But I do.

comment by jondude on Feb 16, 2011 8:43 PM ()

I, too, enjoy living alone. It's just that...well, I've already said it.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:09 AM ()

Everyday is Singles Day, Randy! As I read what you wrote, it seems to me you are talking about being lonely, which mean you need to open up and invite more people into your life and thereby increase your number of friends, male and female. I'm not talking about dating. I'm talking about being friendly and welcoming, getting to know new people, by getting involved in activities you like or want to support where you will be joining with people and having some fun. Get busy, Randy! New friends are waiting to meet you!

comment by marta on Feb 16, 2011 6:13 PM ()

Wrong. I'm alone, but not lonely. I'm irritated for many reasons, but mostly for the fact that we're ignored in society (read my replies below). I didn't mean to come off as some pathetic lonely old man. I'm as happy as a clam! It's not about me--it's about US, the live-aloners. Recognition is all I'm asking for.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:54 AM ()

wow.You picked a good subject there.Jonjude is single and seemed to be doing okay I guess.Not sure who else is single here beside Martin always seemed to have an answer for you.

Lost of people loved being single and enjoyed.I know that I cannot do it.
Would not know how to behave

Told you once always welcome here for a break.Love having and seeing you.
This could be fun if you ever decided to come this way.
You have an open invatation.Don/t wait too long who know how long will I be around.

elderjane had a good comment there.You have great comment.One day this cycle will break for you.

comment by fredo on Feb 16, 2011 2:39 PM ()

Thanks for the open invitation. When I come to Vermont in October,.... well, we'll see. Now, let me straighten myself out. I'm NOT unhappy or sad about being single. I LOVE IT! Let me count the ways (but not now). I'm simply saying, we're under appreciated and ignored as a class of people. Give us some due acknowledgment that we exist! "It's not easy being green".

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:47 AM ()

Not single but heck if you need a Singles Day I am in support!

comment by panthurdreams on Feb 16, 2011 1:32 PM ()

Yeah! We need all the help we can get!

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:40 AM ()

I think being single is the easiest and best thing in the world! No messy arguments--no compromising--oh I could go on and have written blogs bout all the reasons for being single.
So a recipe is for 2--I eat both portions! I didn't have to share my chocolates on VD--and why eat alone in a restaurant/ Just see another single and ask him/her--yes her--if they would like company--most would say yes--holidays? My friends are my family!
And, trust me, many married folks, men and, yes women, are jealous of us singles--why do you think so many divorces happen?!?!?!

comment by greatmartin on Feb 16, 2011 1:14 PM ()

Leave it to you, Martin, to see nothing but good out of being single!! You have an advantage over me, however. I live in a bumpkin world, out in the sticks. Like I keep saying, I'm not complaining, per se. Just commenting that we get no respect.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:38 AM ()

I agree that singles are left by the wayside. Jeri has some good thoughts. Try to get to know others with like interests. Maybe a hiking club could get you some partners on the trail. However, it has been my experience that hostesses often look for extra men to invite to social events -- the same is not true for extra women. And also relevant is the feeling that, somehow, women want YOUR man. I'm rather laid back about the female colleagues in Ed's life -- he can be on the phone for an hour with a female ombuds counterpart. Makes me no never mind, as Tom Sawyer might have said.

comment by tealstar on Feb 16, 2011 12:48 PM ()

I'm not really complaining about being single, or not having close friends to "party" with. I'm just saying we must have the plague. I've lived here for 34 years, alone for half of them, and never been asked over for dinner or gathering by my 4 "neighbors", all married. Now, why not? I'm not unsocial. And I HAVE hiked locally with others (Sierra Club). It's just a strange phenomenon--the plight of singularism.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:33 AM ()

Yup, it's not easy being single. I think it's harder for a female though. Lots of married women are suspicious of us. At a former job, we used to unwind at a near by bar and grill. One woman was there with her husband and she had to leave. He stayed. As she was leaving, she said, "Now Karen don't try any of your single-woman wiles on John."

comment by catdancer on Feb 16, 2011 12:00 PM ()

You can appreciate the feeling of singleness. We're not a pathetic bunch of individualists--just ignored. I don't know about "women-wiles", but I know "man-wiles" don't work!

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:21 AM ()

Friends of both sexes are needed here. I had a great time when I was single because I had friends to go out with with common interests. My
doctor, (who is a man) says that is why men are more prone to depression.
They never talk about feelings...just sports.

comment by elderjane on Feb 16, 2011 10:56 AM ()

I would like to have women as friends and companions. I try. Fortunately, I never get depressed--perhaps a little "down", but that's normal. All I'm saying is we singles are ignored.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:17 AM ()

Good points! I agree. I also think you should take advantage of friends more though too. I remember for the prom my friends and I didn't have dates so we all went out and had a FANTABULOUS night just us girls. Christmas by yourself would be lonely though, I totally agree with that. I think the only cure would be to find a pseudo family if yours isn't available!

comment by kristilyn3 on Feb 16, 2011 7:56 AM ()

I have no friends--at least none I can hang out with. I feel like a rogue bull elephant.

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:12 AM ()

Here's one. I think we should have a national "Singles Day." My sentiments match yours, exactly.

comment by jondude on Feb 16, 2011 6:57 AM ()

I propose we meet at my place this summer, and instigate a plan of attack!

reply by solitaire on Feb 17, 2011 5:06 AM ()

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