Randy

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solitaire
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Randy
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Rossville, IN
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Par For The Course

Shopping > Life Forward
 

Life Forward

I was taken "aback" the other day when my son-in-law tossed out the idea of them building a small log cabin in my farm woods--first for them to live in temporarily, then for me to live my final days in. (By then, they will have built something bigger and more permanent for themselves.)

It occurred to me that in less than 12 years, I'll be 80. And that perhaps I should be thinking about leaving my current house (which is way more house than an old single person needs--or can handle). I hate it when reality hits you in the forehead. I love my place of residence and don't even want to think about selling or moving.

I suppose most of us our age must consider the possibilities, the future. We no longer have true aspirations or long term goals--perhaps some dreams or a bucket list, but few considerations of what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We just want to live out our lives in peace. No worries or major concerns.

Yes, we hope for good health, enough money to live comfortably on, family support, and contentment, if not happiness (joie de vivre). I don't know when this all occurs. I guess right now, come to think about it!

But I haven't thought about it much. I'm into the immediate, not the future. I'm into my struggling golf game, my garden, my winter firewood supply, my New England trip. This is now, not 12 years down the road.

I definitely don't want to spend my "old age" in a retirement village or health care facility. Perhaps I should be thinking about my old age days. I hate doing that because I don't feel old now. Maybe, just maybe, my SIL has a good idea. Time to look forward.

posted on Sept 5, 2011 5:08 AM ()

Comments:

Oh, I hate it when reality hits me in the forehead!

While you and I have a significant age difference, I understood this post and understand where you're coming from. Part of the reason I was away for so long was because of an on-going issue with my health and I faced much of what you are writing about, only for me it was more, "Who will take my children? Who will continue with Julian's care?", etc. Very, very difficult questions with even more difficult answers.
comment by juliansmom on Sept 10, 2011 11:35 AM ()
Like I said in a previous reply, we all have our "problems". Yours just happens to be more severe and complex. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
reply by solitaire on Sept 11, 2011 5:58 AM ()
My mom is 86 and still maintaining her own home.
comment by nittineedles on Sept 6, 2011 7:34 PM ()
Same with my father. I'm not worried--just ponderig the possibilities.
reply by solitaire on Sept 7, 2011 4:48 AM ()
I know what you mean about that sudden realization of mortality. It's hard to face the idea that we are only going to see 20 or so more birthdays, I was thinking that the other day.

If they think you are going to live in some little shack in the woods, it'd better have all the comforts of home - good septic system, good water source, reliable heat that doesn't involve splitting and hauling your own wood if you don't feel like it. You deserve the best for your final years.
comment by troutbend on Sept 6, 2011 5:21 PM ()
Oh, I don't think I'd mind "roughing it". I'm used to it. The golf course is adjacent to the farm. That's a plus! Heck, I may be dead in 5 years!
reply by solitaire on Sept 7, 2011 4:43 AM ()
Everyone has a different bit of advice for you here, Randy. You will figure it out when the time is right.
comment by redimpala on Sept 5, 2011 7:27 PM ()
You are not supposed to think of any of this.Your doing fine.
Healthy,keeping is shape and playing golf that you like.
Continued doing this,you will be fine.Just keep busy which I know that you are and keep moving.I need or we need to talk to you if we see you.
Your only a few years older than Mike.Should get along great.
By the way will be leaving in the first week of Nov.so I was told.
Do not think of any of this.Enjoy life to its fullest.
comment by fredo on Sept 5, 2011 2:07 PM ()
If "Vermont" trip is still a go, I'll be coming to Epsom the evening of Sat. Oct. 1. You'll be there then? I'll write you soon with details.
reply by solitaire on Sept 7, 2011 4:41 AM ()
getting affairs in order is very important. I'm 34 and already have my will and living will's in place. My grandmothers and looking at the possibility of selling their homes and downsizing to something easier for them to handle and take care of. best of luck!
comment by panthurdreams on Sept 5, 2011 11:09 AM ()
You're half my age! Of course, I don't feel it. I need to rewrite my will if all this happens--the farm going to my one daughter, not split in fourths. Glad you dropped by.
reply by solitaire on Sept 7, 2011 4:36 AM ()
If you can afford it, and can take care of it, there is no reason to move. But perhaps getting your affairs "in order" would help your family when you do need to make a change.
comment by crazylife on Sept 5, 2011 10:14 AM ()
I'm just now getting persimmons from trees I planted years ago. And I just set in 6 blueberry bushes this spring. So why move any time soon, eh?! I'll know when the time is right.
reply by solitaire on Sept 7, 2011 4:34 AM ()
'No worries or major concerns.' And yet here is a blog filled with major concerns and worries!
I am 76 and for the past 10 years have only worried about getting up this morning--and I did! I don't worry about tomorrow--actually I don't worry about much--the future, our future, will take care of itself--why not let your SIL take care of the future--build the smaller place for you NOW--let them take over the big place and all that goes along with it and you can concentrate on 'struggling golf game, my garden, my winter firewood supply, (that would be SILs problem) my New England trip.'
comment by greatmartin on Sept 5, 2011 8:30 AM ()
I have a lot to learn from you, Martin. I like your attitude (as I've said before). I AM living for now, but with an eye on the future.
reply by solitaire on Sept 6, 2011 5:04 AM ()
A community where services are rendered and maintenance is not an issue sounds good to me (finally). I had many fewer day-to-day responsibilities when I was renting in New York. Who knew owning a home, even a lovely one on water, would be so expensive and require so much taking care of. The trouble with thinking about the future is that events make you realize the future is today. That's how I felt when I was diagnosed in late April. Since then I have returned to my la de da view of life. I find this attitude more satisfying than worrying. If you think living in the woods is a good idea, please re think that. There is nothing wrong with the right retirement community and you don't have to chop firewood when you just can't anymore.
comment by tealstar on Sept 5, 2011 6:18 AM ()
It's a complex subject/issue, with much to consider. For now, I'm happy where I am, both physically and mentally. Not to worry. Still, one has to consider "what if?" Hope you're doing well.
reply by solitaire on Sept 6, 2011 5:03 AM ()
You don't have to dwell on the forward aspects of being 80. As a matter of
fact I love being alive and this age and healthy. But old age will come
if you are lucky and you need to be glad you are living in the bosom of
your family. The log cabin sounds great but at this age I am not ready for
such downsizing. Stay in your home as long as y ou possibly can.
comment by elderjane on Sept 5, 2011 5:19 AM ()
Fortunately, I don't "dwell" on aging. In fact, I was shocked at my reaction to my SIL's statement. Not me, I thought! Yes, I plan to stay put for a long time.
reply by solitaire on Sept 6, 2011 5:00 AM ()

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