I was talking to SB yesterday and I feel as though that is somewhat what I am trying to do. Starting Anew.

R and I had 3 cigs left after we (mostly I) smoked my brains out yesterday, he took one and I have two. I smoked one on the way in and only have one left. It's sad, but necessary! I am trying to remain positive and remind myself that *I* am in control, not a stinkin cigarette! hehe

So my friend K was kind enough to ditch me last minute yesterday. I had confirmed with her earlier in the morning that we were still meeting up at the time and place we agreed on earlier in the week and she was like yes! So I thought all was well. I got to the bar and texted her that I was there, then she texted me back saying she was deathly ill. Seriously? I was like crapola since I had already ordered a drink... Sooo I texted SB and begged her to watch football with me. We all know how very fond she is of football, but apparently for me she was willing to endure it. That and the offer of free food and drinks. haha

Anyways, we had fun. R ended up joining up at the end. My Packers lost but the Jets won... the Packers did well though really, they went into overtime and apparently Tennessee is the only team undefeated in their conference, so they held their own.

Yesterday morning I was looking at jobs. I came across one for a laboratory animal care taker. My curiosity got the best of me. I had to read it. It was as I expected - feeding, watering, restraining, helping with injecting and disposing of dead animals. Yikes. I had to wonder if it was a sign about the job prospect signaling that I shouldn't consider it... UGS I do not know. Especially since it was a company that could very well be supporting the place who wants to interview me.

Last night in bed I thought about the scared little Kraymers and Tuckers in cages, only knowing their "caretakers" who inject them with crap and hold them down and basically try to murder them in new and adventurous ways - in the name of science. Ugs.

I know that people think that animal testing is a great thing that saves human lives, but the percentage is so small of what is actually the same reaction in animals and humans. It's hardly worth the pain and suffering these helpless creatures have to endure. That's just my POV of course.

It's a Monday.