Lindstrom, MN


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Cranky Swamp Yankee

About Me

I am standard, boiler plate, run of the mill, right off the rack curmudeon. (cur-mud-geon [origin unknown] 1. archaic a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern anyone who hates hypocrisy and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.)

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." - Mark Twain

"The report of my death is an exaggeration." - Mark Twain

"I make love to ten thousand people a night and go home alone." - Janis Joplin

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there." - Wavy Gravy

My Website:
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Recent Posts

I know I’ve posted this poem before. I don’t care. After a completely enjoyable evening last night watching so many talented friends strutting their stuff on The WTG stage, and knowing t...
The Meaning of PinkOkay. Now, my wife and I had been out sailing around the British Virgin Islands for a week. We had chartered a 32-foot sailboat from one of the chartering companies on Tortola, and ...
Okay. I'm pretty damned sure that what I am about to say is going to piss off more than a few people. But that's never stopped me before.Soooo . . .For years we have been hearing slogans from the NRA ...
I was thinking about e.e. cummings all day today, and I really think the man had it right. There is no place in the natural universe for capitalization.We are all the same. We are all equal. Not just ...
Okay.So I really like comfort food, okay?I fight the urge most of the time, and that's how I manage to keep my girlish figure and my heart pumping on a regular basis, which, according to my doctor, is...
I get hurt a lot. Physically, that is.I do; I get hurt a lot.I fall down a lot.I stub my toes a lot.I burn my hands a lot on hot things like stoves and fireplaces.My body almost always sports things l...
Last night, I went to daughter's house to celebrate my granddaughter Lainey's tenth birthday.  When Lainey's sister Alyssa, who is two years older than Lainey, turned ten, Mary Ellen and I took her...
Okay.I wasfeeling really ambitious and energetic this weekend. So I spent about six hoursSaturday cleaning out my fridge.(I know. Iknow. I can hear you laughing.)I don’t doit as much as I shoul...
She died as she lived,    peacefully and gently.Her mouth full of apples.No more pain now.She taught me how to ride     and so very much more.She leaves behind a 30-year legac...
It has been a while since I've been around these parts, but, after the fun and games that have been staged in D.C. these past few weeks, I find it hard to keep my big mouth shut.Here are two short art...
You know something? I could almost give a damn that Kim Kardashian is having a kid, or had a kid, or is having a goat. I could almost care that Miley Cyrus called off her wedding, or is pissed off at ...
Okay.Let me tell you about the kind of day that I had yesterday.I have been in the process of directing a great farce by KenLudwig for the last ten weeks. The play is LendMe A Tenor, and it is the fir...
Okay, listen. I didn't do it onpurpose. It was an accident. It wasn't my fault.Got that?Okay then. Here's my story.I had just brought home Mary Ellen'sashes for the first time. The “urn” i...
There were so many people at MaryEllen's wake that the funeral home director had to take theunprecedented action of asking those who were sitting in the viewingroom to please leave and go to the churc...
Kristy just emailed me and asked if I was comfortable giving out my mailing address in case some of you wanted to contact me. In stead of that, you may contact me at my email to request my contact inf...