I need some advice, and hopefully y'all will have a plethora for me. ha
My oldest brother Steve has had some major health complications over the past few years, and they have gotten progressively worse, most likely leading to brain surgery within the next few months. He lives in the house I grew up in in upstate NY with his AMAZING fiance, Linda, who takes such great care of him that we are all very grateful for her. He sleeps a ton, doesn't walk well and is incoherent most of the time.
For Christmas we all usually gather in WI at my parents house. My other older brother Mike lives in WI as well, so for Steve and I it's just easiest to go there.Mike has 3 older kids, Steve has an adult child in WI as well.
This year Steve can't travel for medical reasons. Steve ALWAYS wants to spend time with us over the holidays and hasn't missed one yet. He invited everyone to Vestal to stay with him since he can't travel.
So here is where the trouble lies. My parents are going to visit at a time other than Christmas and Mike just went out there to visit. No one is planning on going there for Christmas since we don't know what state Steve will be in or if he will even be up for anyone visiting. I am TORN. My besties have told me that our family can stay with them so we'd have a place to stay without being too invasive, but we would miss out on the rest of the family (my mom has 9 brothers and sisters and I have like 50 cousins in WI). But then I wouldn't be there for Steve... if he is coherent enough to know.
What would you all do? Should we drive to WI for Christmas per usual or should we go to NY since we can? The trip to NY would certainly be shorter... but we'd be in a totally new environment for Christmas and my kiddos are young and believe in Santa and all that business.
Advice? NY or WI? If we went to WI I'd certainly visit Steve at another time... but I also would feel terrible if Steve had no family with him on Christmas. Alas, his fiance has family nearby so Steve wouldn't be alone, but he wouldn't be with his family, which he always has been in the past.
I am torn.