The Fruit Of The Loom Factory (FOTLF) is not what it seems. You see, it's one giant factory with the primary goal of pre-arranged marriages. We are not talking about the human kind of marriage, but the kind only a Sock would understand. It really is a sad tale… one that must be told.

All Socks are not created equally. I know it may come as a shock to you, but Socks have feelings too. There are thick Socks and thin Socks, short Socks and long Socks. The FOTLF workers just assume that because the Socks look identical that they should just be paired up with a Sock of the same type. Not true. Socks are in search of the one for them… they seek harmony and peace… they seek their sole mate.

Once the Socks leave the Factory and end up on the department store shelves, they are left to their own devices. The packaging they are in prevents them from any sort of mass rebellion. They must wait until they are purchased. It is a long wait sometimes, but the wait gives them some time to start the planning. How can they escape to find the one they love?

Then it happens… the human comes and picks out the package that contains a pair that was not meant to be. The humans cherish the crisp white Socks. They take them home and immediately fold each set neatly together and put them in their new home. Even though they are paired with a Sock that is not their sole mate, the Sock now feels important. It is time to do its job… to keep the foot warm and comfortable for hours upon end, only to be thrown in the hamper with what seems like no appreciation whatsoever. It is a smelly place that breeds anger and resentment. And it just gets worse.

The Socks are now sent to be washed, dried, paired and put away… but wait ... now they are with a different Sock. The frustration begins to set in. The toll is wearing the Sock thin. It starts to show… a hole in the toe or heal. It is a miserable existence. The Sock seeks advice from the Old Wise Wool Socks in the back of the drawer.

"Oh Wise Socks, what am I to do? I am miserable and it is starting to show."

"You must be brave young Sock. You must escape this place and find your sole mate"

"But how? How do I escape this wretched existence?"

"Where you born with extra stitching on the inside of you? Usually it is annoying to the human pinky toe. Does this ring a bell?"

"Why yes, I was born with that! Will it help me to escape?"

"It will my young friend. You must be brave. It is a dangerous mission and extremely risky. The next time you are worn, make sure to irritate the pinky toe of the human so they take you off immediately and turn you inside out to find the problem. Once they do that, they will do one of two things. Either they will throw you in the hamper to be washed, or worse they will trim off the extra stitching."

"What happens if they trim the stitching?"

"You are doomed to a life of loneliness… one without your sole mate. BUT, if they don't trim the stitching, you will be a free Sock in no time."

"That sounds fantastic Wise Socks, tell me more!"

"Once you are thrown into the washer, you must use your extra stitching to climb up to the center spinner. There is an escape hatch up there. You will see it when you climb up. It is a piece of cake after that. You will be sucked down into the human sewage. Once there, follow the signs to the 'Sock Hop Bar and Grille'. There you will find a Sock with a Nike logo. He will help you find a place to stay where you will be happy."

"I think I can handle the mission. Thank you so much for your advice Wise Socks."

The young Sock is geared up for escape. The human pulls him out of the drawer and slips him on the foot. The Sock stretches the extra stitching so it is poking into the side of the pinky toe. He is giving it all he has to force annoyance on the human. The human yanks him off his foot.

"Please don't trim me…"

The human out of frustration throws the Sock into the hamper. The young Sock is so excited. He sits in the hamper, barely able to contain himself. He practices with his extra stitching, climbing the side of the hamper. He can't wait to be thrown into the washing machine.

Laundry day finally arrives. The young Sock buries himself deep inside the hamper so that when it is turned upside down to be dumped, he would be closer to the top. Finally… he is almost free. The washer begins to spin, making his climb a tough ordeal. He falls back into the water several times. He thinks to himself that he really has to hurry before the spin cycle. He would never be able to escape during the spin cycle. Alas, he makes it to the top and takes the plunge into the tunnel that was to be his freedom.

It was a disgusting trip. The young Sock wondered if any of the female type Socks would actually take this journey to freedom, or would he wind up being alone and miserable with a bunch of macho sport Socks. He thought it would be okay for a gay Sock, but since he was straight, it wouldn't be for him. Much to his surprise it was not too long before he found the Sock Hop. He brushed himself off and stepped inside…

The Sock Hop was a really nice place with an ambiance perfect for meeting all kinds of Socks. He spotted the Nike Sock in a booth in the corner. He approached and found out that he had made it to Sock Heaven and he would surely meet the Sock of his dreams in no time. He settled in to a booth of his own to sip Saki and scope out the crowd.

Across the room he spotted her… a lacey little thing with a smile that would make angels weep with joy. He had to meet her… he had to have her. He called out to the waitress to send a drink to the cute girl across the bar. She smiled at him and winked a thank you. He finally got the courage to go to her.

They chatted and drank until the wee hours of the night. He walked her home and was a complete gentlesock. He got her number and they promised to meet up again.

The rest as they say, is history. They lived happily ever after and had many baby Socks. It was a match made in Sock Hop Heaven.

Meanwhile, back at the human house, there is a person screaming… "HOW IS IT THAT WHEN I DO LAUNDRY, ONE SOCK IS ALWAYS MISSING??"