One time years ago I dated this one guy. His name was "The Ugly Guy". It was not always his name, but it was a name that just ended up growing on him.

He started out as a good looking guy but the more I got to know him the uglier he got. For one I started to notice his Lazy Eye. When we first met I thought it was kind of cute like Colombo, but soon the way his one eye always bobbed and weaved started to get to me.

I am not so vain to just worry about ones appearance. It was much more than that. This guy would fart and not acknowledge it. He would not say excuse me or even laugh and try to make me smell it. Who does that? The farting thing was odd and when it happen while he was naked and he still acted like it did not even happen. I knew this could not go on.

We were not being intimate when he farted naked. I went over to his house and he was just hanging out naked. It was strange how comfortable he was. He lay down on the floor on his side watching TV. I sat on the couch (fully clothed) feeling very awkward. That is when it happen. He farted with his buns facing me. He did not say a word about it. He did not even move. I faked a hurry and got the hell out of there.

Why am I thinking about this guy? Well I saw him today at the grocery store. I have not seen that man in fifteen years. The first thought that popped into my head was his naked fart and wandering eye. There he was looking at the deli and the bakery at the same time, breaking wind I am sure.

I think his one eye spotted me but I split before the other could catch up.

Oh the memories... Memory lane has some strange spots where the ugly guy farts and crazy people sleep in the bushes.

There was one guy I dated that showed up at my house and informed me he sold his soul to the devil for enough change to purchase a can of beer he was drinking. I miss him. Not.

I know there is another side of the story. I am sure I have a special spot on some of their memory lanes also. They all have stories about me. I am the one that made them gay on their yahoo profile and I may be the one that sold all of their tools for a dollar and I may even be the one that they accuse of controlling their thoughts with my mind.

Now the mind control one really gets me! Now don't you think that if I was that powerful I would have used my mind to make these dudes into my Mr. Perfect and if I couldn’t do that at least brain wash them into robbing banks for me? Am I right or am I right.