Ugh so in two weeks a board a plane for a Comedy Competition in Lake Tahoe at the Hard Rock Casino. I have been studying my advisory’s very carefully. I wonder if they tried to google my comedy. If they were to do so they would be met with almost nothing but a clip I filmed eight years ago, it is funny but not exactly what I do now.



I have watched all their stuff, at least what is available. It just helps me know what I am walking into. I feel like I will do ok, but I want to murder on that stage. I want the audience to believe I am the funniest human to ever speak into a mic. I at least want them to think I need a second hotel room comped because I made into the finals. Where will I sleep if I don’t make it into the finals??? Perhaps the airport but dang it I hope not lol.


If I were to sleep in the airport I guess it will be more material for me?? Maybe? If not just a long wait with as much sleep as I can get at an airport.


I am traveling alone which in itself gives me anxiety. I travel all the time alone, but I don’t fly alone usually. What I get lost? What if I miss all my flight and am sold into human trafficking? I know that is completely unreasonable. I am not some hot young thing wondering the world alone. I am too old and have had four vaginal births, if anything I am some old wide set disappointment wandering aimlessly around. Oh Jesus I am a SILVER ALERT!! Maybe I shouldn’t wear pant just tot make sure everyone knows my vagina has already been conquered.


Sorry.


I just have to get my head straight. I just have to be funny, like super duper give this bitch a room funny. I can do it, I am just in my head twisting things up with worst case scenarios.


I have been restricting my carbs for the past two weeks and also fasting for long parts of the day. I don’t want to show up in Lake Tahoe bloated and carby. I want to enter the desert sleek and pool side ready. I need a floppy hat… Which I will not have since I have already cut back on my compulsive online shopping. I have decided that two dozen shoes and many blouses later I must stop, so instead of a floppy hat I will have to settle for a mild sun burn, which is ok because my top layer of facial skin is disturbing.


Thank you for letting me let it all out. I told my husband about my anxieties and his response was the usual man thing of well you will get over it wont you….


Sure I will get over it but in the mean time my wheels are spinning. Spinning with what ifs and could happens.


I will miss him so much. I will miss our hotel time together. Being parents we can never be naked at home just for the sake of being naked. We have to have reason, but not in a hotel room, we can do what we want. He usually starts off with ridiculous nakedness. He will walk around doing the Winnie the Poo naked, just a shirt with no pants. It is not particularly attractive but it is hilarious and eases us into our favorite hotel game Naked And Afraid. We both start off very enthusiastic but end up just very dehydrated and confused by florescent lighting and stretch marks just screaming in coherent things at each other. It is a good time.


Who is going to help me squeeze into last years swimsuit? He is always so helpful calling out positive affirmations during the process.

I guess I will have to go it alone. Send prayers and thought my way I am obviously desperate and have to take what I can get. So think of me when you are delivering your Hail Mary’s and what nots.