Oh my it has been a loooong time. Hi friends! So I am not sure where to start after about four years of being absent. First off I guess I have to tell you I have been on a bit of a journey. In the past four years I have done a lot of stand up and sit down work. I am guessing the biggest change we have had in the family is our dog Bill Murray. He is more like my youngest child. I use to get so upset when people would refer to their pets as children, my bad. I now understand. He is my youngest son and my favorite so far. He is the family clown and cheer leader. He makes life better. I am not sure how we got along with out him. He just makes everything better, well ever since he finally got use to the fact the family will huddle on to the couch and have a good old fashion group cry while we watch This is Us. For the longest time any time the show was on and emotions ran high he would freak out and threaten to poop in the corner of the living room, now he embraces the sadness and joins the family with a good old fashion huddle of tears and somberness.
I feel bad for being gone so long. This blog always gave me the freedom to write honest feelings, I have yet to find anything else like it.
While not doing stand up I work in a Surgery office, scheduling and collecting funny things about a high strung office full of humor and stress. The funniest being my back is actually to the door. When people walk in they don't see my face they see the back of my head and I can honestly say the back of my head is just much more inviting than my face. I have never made so many friends so quickly. Where my face says what the fuck do you want the back of my head seems to say good morning. Where my face says I don't give a damn the back of my head says I care about you... It is the way I should live my life. Approach from behind should be my PSA or maybe just avoid all eye contact. I can finally see that my face has been preventing meaningful friendships that my friendly hair could have quickly developed all these years.
I also find it hilarious and infuriating how many people throw around the term "I have a funny little story to tell you". It is usually not true the story is neither funny or little. It is a long drawn out tale about their pet, child, grand child or current state of pregnancy which is usually followed up with "I am sure you will use that in your comedy routine" which I inevitably do not...
There should be a penalty for throwing around a not so funny little story, like maybe 10 minutes deduction from a lunch break or you have to come in 5 minutes early for the next 5 days. It upsets me obviously and must be stopped.
Me and the man got married some years back so now I am a wife. Reluctant at first, I now see it is what the children needed. I did keep my last name of Mudd due to my Comedy career and also the laziness that consumes me preventing me to jump through hoops to have it changed.
Married life is nice. Nice is funny nor exciting, but we are or we try to be. I had gotten an invite on Facebook that seemed mysterious. It read "We want you to come with your lover this Saturday night"... I went to the man and told him "This Saturday night we may or may not be going to any orgy this Saturday night..." He was like "Oh really???" and I said "YES! Just to watch or whateves just don't wear your dad shoes... just in case... because no one is getting laid that way."
We went! I wore my fancy spanx he wore his sandals without his socks.. It was not an orgy but a surprise birthday party and there we were like a couple of perves, him with his exposed naked sex toes....
I don't know why I thought I would be invited to an orgy I have never even been invited to do drugs. I have gone to the parties and everyone disappears to the bathroom and I am left on the couch with Sharon from accounting, the only thing we have in common is our love for slacks... I do have a friend who is cool enough to be invited to the bathroom and she told me "Bea you don't want to go in there... They are doing cocaine! You don't want any of that you could loose it all!! Your home, your car and your family GONE!!" I was like well I live in a duplex, drive a Hyundai and have a 24 year old son who refuses to move out of my basement.... Cocaine sounds like new beginnings to me SIGN ME UP!!
I am glad to be back friends and look forward to much more writing and feeling connected.