Today is the bad mood blog.

First off I have been dealing with a memory invader! Someone who just happens to show up at things I should be enjoying. Things that I want to look back on as special times in my life! With their strange presence they just fuck it all up. Glazed eyeballs and that stupid grin. Damn it!

I know stalkers! I have had one before, not very dedicated one I might add, but this one is different. This one does not want to sleep with me. This one wants to be me. Me high on Ambien covered in cat hair.

Secondly nothing can be your child, besides your child! Sorry you have to own, adopt or produce another human being to get the FULL effect of a child. You have to watch it grow, send it to school, have it break your heart, watch its heart break, feed it and even after it becomes full grown there you are still making sure it is ok.

I just hear it thrown around way to much! Some jackass actually said "My jokes are my kids." Really? Obviously you dumb mother fucker have never had kids. Your jokes are never going to shit their pant or get arrested! You stupid jokes are never going to need lunch money or fancy fucking shoes! When is the last time your jokes got into a fight at school? Your jokes will never EVER tell you that they are pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So guess what your jokes are? Jokes.

On another note. I would like to give thanks that even after my mass production of children and ownership of a toaster I am in fact not a housewife! I don't have Joan Clever moments. Fuck you aprons and pot holders. The great help mate, I am not! I am annoyed too easily and don't find joy in a good clean house. I can't serve everyone and eat last with a silly mom smile on my face! I do it with a scowl and a heavy step! Yes they eat in fear and that's what they get for eating first and watching me slave away!

Not much will make me happy today... The man will try in vain only to agitate the Angry Tiger. What I hate is when he has the nerve to say "Well you didn't ask for help..." I think that is the dumbest shit ever! IF YOU SEE SOMEONE NEEDS HELP DO YOU JUST SIT BACK AND WATCH IF THEY DONT ASK? That's like saying sure the guy died next to me choking, but he didn't ask me for help. You see I am choking on all of this shit and you sit back with that stupid confused look on your face. Jerk.

That is all. There are some kids or jokes or whatever the fuck running amok! Where is my fly swatter?