Number 8
Life depends upon sex for its continuation.


Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 6
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.


Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years


Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.


Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.


- - - and as someone recently said to me:

"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long