I finally got to visit my sister once she had been moved to Hope Hospice, about a half hour drive from our house. In discussions with Don, the doctors agreed that the aggressive treatment involving a tube down her nose that was making her scream in pain, was not going to gain her very much, so it was removed. (FYI, I had such a tube when I had gall bladder surgery. I was in my 30s and very fit indeed -- it was torture.) Tula calmed down after that and began to rest. Don said the tube made her throat bleed, and he sponged her mouth and throst himself. She did not awaken while I was there and Don said she was sleeping" but I think she was in a coma and I don't think she'll be waking up again.

Ed came into the room with me. In times past, he would wait in the car when I would visit her on previous hospitalizations. But I am grateful he came in. He entered into conversation with Don, whom he has militantly avoided since 2004, to Tula's great sorrow. To recap, this alienation began when Don went ballistic over a letter I wrote that appeared in The News-Press in which I said George W. Bush was a total disaster. I was in New York on a visit to my piano mentor at the time and Ed told me on the phone that my letter had been published. He was proud of my letter. Don screamed at him and said some horrid things -- apparently he pushed a button that triggered a rage so deep in Ed, that it can't be unpushed -- so Ed cut him off totally forever. And ever since then we could not be a family. Don's tirade was insane. At the time I thought he might be losing it. As mentioned, I don't know if he has rethought himself, or just wound himself down because rages don't work.

I don't think this grace period is the end of the alienation. I can't even hope that it might be.

I spoke Greek to Tula, hoping my words would reach her. She often spoke Greek with me when I went to see her, in an effort to maintain the language and because I think it reminded her of the us we used to be.

Don was holding back tears as we started to leave. He lost a favorite sister a year ago, and her husband passed just a month ago. I didn't see him cry then, and I didn't see him cry when he lost brothers (very large family). But this is so very different, isn't it. You lose a beloved spouse, your life changes forever. He hasn't been polemic with me in the last two years and I am grateful for that. I don't know if that is a sea change, or just him controlling himself for the sake of peace.

Ed said he feels sorry for him because, having lost his wife, Margrit, to cancer in 1992, he went through Hell and knows Don is experiencing the same.

Meanwhile, I am dealing with this stone in my stomach. We will go see her today as well, but I will be surprised if she survives another day.

My sister, myself. She won't be hurting any more.

8:47 a.m. Just got the call. She's gone.

xx, Teal