Randy

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Username:: solitaire
Name:: Randy
Location:: Rossville, IN
Birthday:: 03/24
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Par For The Course

Life & Events > Relationships > Sweet Tooth

Sweet Tooth

I had a rather interesting day yesterday (Sunday).
"The sweet potato plants have arrived, finally!" , my daughter informed me. This the daughter (Emily) who has the sustainable garden farming operation with her husband. "Help!" she says.
So, I drove the 35 miles to their farm to plant 2500 slips of sweet potatoes. While Nate drove the tractor/planter, Emily and I sat on seats 8" from the ground dropping in and covering plants as quickly as we could. It was fun, but stressfull, not to mention uncomfortable. It took us over two hours. Not bad.
Emily was somewhat of a problem child as a teenager. She had (has) two older sisters that set a high standard for success and responsibility. So she became a little rebelious. Nothing serious, but enough to concern her father. Having her mother walk out on the family when she was 9 wasn't easy for her.
But now--what a remarkable young woman she's become! I'm so proud of her. At age 32, she's a great wife and mother, success driven, and fun loving. Plus, she had a good eye for a super husband. I just wish they didn't have to struggle so hard in their business. But that's another story.
I had a chance to talk a bit with my ex-wife, who was there babysitting my (our) grandson. She's separated from and will divorce the man she left me for. And, surprise, surprise, admitted that leaving me for him was the greatest mistake she ever made. She's deeply regreted it for years (it's been 23). However, if she thinks I would ever "take her back", she's gravely mistaken. I feel sorry for her, but that's the extent of it. She's really become a pathetic piece of work. Now in her sixties, she thinks she's wasted the last 20 years of her life, and her future is bleak. Religion is one crutch (and has been for years). Emily and little John is the other crutch. Being a hypo doesn't help.
So, yes, an interesting day it was. Have a great week!

posted on June 6, 2011 5:22 AM ()

Comments:

The only aspect of your wife I find unappealing, viewing her later life as described by you, is her religiousity since you imply it is obsessive. You appear to behave kindly toward her which is good. But the one thing I don't understand about you, and this includes Ed and his views toward his own past, when people are truly remorseful, why hang on to your anger, your pique, your own sense of having been hurt? What's the point? It's a kind of never-ending revenge and hanging on to anger does not hurt the other so much as it eats away at you. How exhausting.

comment by tealstar on June 8, 2011 5:58 AM ()

It's really not a matter of anger or resentment or bitterness. I don't hold on to those feelings--at least not towards my ex. It's just that I can't help but recall the memories of what she did to me and the children. It's not like I can rip out the pages in my brain and burn them. I've forgiven, but will never forget. Look to the future, I say.

reply by solitaire on June 11, 2011 6:05 AM ()

Did you take some sweet potatoes home to plant at your house?

comment by troutbend on June 7, 2011 12:38 PM ()

Oh yes! I took (as payback) about 30 plants. I barely squeezed them into my garden. Now I have to "coffee can" cover and uncover them overnight for rabbit protection. They love the leaves. Remember your recipe for sweet tater leaves?!!!

reply by solitaire on June 8, 2011 4:50 AM ()

Finally starting to plant out my tomatoes, peppers and herbs here.
You didn't just run the 35 miles??

comment by crazylife on June 6, 2011 9:23 PM ()

It's funny, but I've though about walking all the way. But I don't think so!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:31 AM ()

I had a friend who left her husband because of physical abuse. What I could NEVER understand was how she could leave her five year old daughter and three year old son with him. Maybe her new boyfriend didn't want the responsibility.

comment by nittineedles on June 6, 2011 1:36 PM ()

My kids were between the ages of 5 and 15 when she left. She was a good mother until something snapped in her head (It wasn't my doing). I've never forgiven her, and still hold a little bitterness.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:34 AM ()

I can't imagine leaving the kids!

reply by crazylife on June 6, 2011 9:20 PM ()

How funny! I think what you enjoyed the most was hearing her admit that she made a mistake in leaving you- especially after all of her fault-finding and nit-picking.

comment by dragonflyby on June 6, 2011 1:18 PM ()

It was her way of boosting her ego (by cutting me down). She praises me all the time now. It won't work--NEVER!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:36 AM ()

Sweet Tooth.Was thinking about nice deep dark chocolate.(candy that is)

I also was a baby now at 81.

Yes,I am sure my ex feels the same way with me.But no interest.
My life has been much better since left and Mike met me.
This was the greatest.38 yrs.Boy!that went by so fast.
Now I am working on my second life.

comment by fredo on June 6, 2011 8:40 AM ()

Sweet potatoes, sweet tooth. I don't know why I connected them. I agree. The last 11 years of "solitaire" has been good. But sometimes I miss companionship. You, at least, have Mike.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:39 AM ()

Being the youngest with a VERY high achieving jock and scholar for an older brother my sympathy is with Emily--t'ain't easy being the 'baby'--even now at 75!

comment by greatmartin on June 6, 2011 8:24 AM ()

I can tell it has affected your personality. You're rather "rebellious" also, even (more so) now. Good trait, I think!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:40 AM ()

But it must felt good hearing she made a (big) mistake Randy....

comment by itsjustme on June 6, 2011 7:56 AM ()

I sort of "vindicates" me. She used to claim our divorce was a 50/50 responsibility, but I always knew she was 100% to blame. Perhaps she realizes that was indeed the case. Always good to hear from you.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:44 AM ()

Y0u are such a good dad to help your daughter out with the not so fun stuff.

I feel for your ex too but hindsight is 20/20 as they say!

comment by kristilyn3 on June 6, 2011 7:47 AM ()

I enjoy and want to help my kids out as much as I can. I am pretty lucky to have four great children. Not so lucky with a screwy ex-wife.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:46 AM ()

One of my exes was a horrible person. I don't know how I stuck it out so
long. One is dead and the other has Alzhiemers.

comment by elderjane on June 6, 2011 6:40 AM ()

I don't know where or what has happened to my second wife (of 7 years). No great loss either way!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:47 AM ()

Too bad you "ex" feels her life is bleak. I don't feel that way at all. I had a mother who was a hypochondriac. That not only makes the person miserable; it makes everyone around her miserable. But congratulations on your wonderful daughter. Nice you were able to help them get the sweet potatoes planted.

comment by redimpala on June 6, 2011 6:37 AM ()

Thanks for the empathy. I just tolerate my ex. But she's been a great help to our daughter--both on the farm and babysitting. So she's worth something!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:50 AM ()

Great work and help on your daughter's farm! Wish I had access to her wonderful organic produce. I miss my garden.... And I'm glad your and your ex can at least be civil with each other for little John's sake.

comment by marta on June 6, 2011 6:20 AM ()

I think Lisa was surprised I hugged her in my consoling her emotions of admission. We were married nearly 20 years (17 good ones), so there still are memories of good times together.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:53 AM ()

How does a mother walk out on a 9 year old child?? The grass always looks greener on the other side until you get there. She seems very self centered.
How proud you are of your daughter; she appears to take after her Dad and not her Mother.

comment by gapeach on June 6, 2011 6:01 AM ()

The "grass is greener" quote is so true with my ex. She's always searching for something better. She moves every couple of years thinking a change of scenery will improve her life. Doesn't work. And thanks for the compliment.

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:55 AM ()

I envy. I miss the CA gardening I enjoyed, watching my seedlings germinate, thinning the radishes and lettuce, getting my hands in the dirt. As for ex's, I don't miss a thing. I can tell you don't either.

comment by jondude on June 6, 2011 5:37 AM ()

Neither exes! And if you want to get your hands dirty, drive west one state! Boy do I have carrots and beets that need thinning!

reply by solitaire on June 7, 2011 4:57 AM ()

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Sweet Tooth