Today marks only a week since I made the decision to leave and as you all know, this wasn't a rash decision. Nor was it a decision that I felt I would change my mind on. I knew that if I changed my mind and went back it would be for all the wrong reasons. The same ones I went back for last time (finances, feeling bad for the kids and my husband, fear).

So today after I did all of my regular Mom duties and errands, I got a call from my grandparents. They are going to hold the mortgage on the mobile home I found that I wanted. Once again, they came through for me. They always have and I wish they didn't have to, but I'm very appreciative for them. So today is the day, I put a down payment on my very own home.

Another huge step towards the ending of a 21 year old relationship. There is sadness and there is excitement of possibility as well. I believe I'm doing the right thing. I really hope I'm right. I feel like my words here are so simple that one could think I'm feeling no pain, but I am. I guess I'm just running on auto pilot right now, almost numb. So in just about 10 days I will own my own home. The first home I've ever lived in without a parent or my husband. It's all so much to digest.