Jeri

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elderjane
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Jeri
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Southwestern Woman

Life & Events > Relationships > Stupified and Grieved
 

Stupified and Grieved

My daughter's autistic son attacked and bit her severely.
She h urt her back getting away from him. I know that
she will never put him in an institution but I think it is
time. He is twenty and big and strong. We were looking
forward to seeing her tomorrow but she is in too much pain
to make the trip. Sara and Curtis and the baby are still
coming. We can't wait to see that red haired great grand
child. Her bites are being taken care of but she pretty
much needs to stay in bed until her back heals.

You all know how I feel about the right to life for damaged
embryos. I worked in special education and counselling and
testing my whole life. The impact on a family is unimaginable. I shudder to think how these conservatives
who say that life begins at conception would handle this
situation if they were faced with it. These damaged children live to a ripe old age now. Would anyone rationally agree to traumatize their life, their marriage and
their other children to bring a child into the world who
will know nothing and have little pleasure in this world.

I really can't believe these children can be a blessing or
an angel unaware.

posted on July 6, 2012 10:05 AM ()

Comments:

comment by kristilyn3 on July 11, 2012 12:11 PM ()
So sorry.
comment by whereabouts on July 7, 2012 7:36 PM ()
Thank you.
reply by elderjane on July 8, 2012 6:25 AM ()
comment by crazylife on July 6, 2012 9:47 PM ()
It is a no win situation.
reply by elderjane on July 8, 2012 6:26 AM ()
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:26 AM ()
I'm so sorry about your daughter.
comment by jerms on July 6, 2012 8:33 PM ()
I am too, Jeremy. She has a wonderful attitude and a loving heart.
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:27 AM ()
I agree with you totally about not continuing a pregnancy that will only lead to grief for all concerned, not the least the baby. I didn't think autism could be diagnosed in a pregnancy. Can it? So sorry your family (it affects all of you) must go through this. Your daughter should get counseling and perhaps be persuaded that professional care is what your grandson needs. Some children actually improve under structured supervision.
comment by tealstar on July 6, 2012 1:25 PM ()
The fetus was diagnosed with an inoperable heart condition. Linda insisted
on and obtained a heart transplant and autism developed later and I understand that it does sometimes after a heart transplantbut that this
is covered up by those with an investment in heart transplantation. Her
father, her doctors and I pleaded with her to have an abortion but she
insisted on carrying the baby to term and moved to Stanford to have it.
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:04 AM ()
If not an institution, then perhaps a supervised home where people with special needs can be cared for by trained individuals. My heart breaks for your daughter and for you. I know how hard this must be for all of you.
comment by redimpala on July 6, 2012 11:04 AM ()
I have seen Eric in his rages. I am sure it is the result of frustration because he is so limited. He speaks only a few words and is usually affectionate with his family but spends a great deal of his time rocking.
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:08 AM ()
You have to talk to the Pope.He is the man that started all of this.Have babies .
I sympathize with your daughter.He is twenty and should be placed if he is a threat to her and the family.Something should be done about these damaged babies.
comment by fredo on July 6, 2012 10:59 AM ()
The Pope put a terrible burden on the Catholic people with his prohibition
of birth control. One of my dear friends comes from a family of twelve,
born during the depression!
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:11 AM ()
It is a shame that your daughter is unwilling to place him. It is not about not loving him- or not loving him enough. It is because this autistic adult is incapable of empathy and affection. Who is there to care for him while she is bedridden? How sad.
comment by dragonflyby on July 6, 2012 10:55 AM ()
Oddly enough, Eric can be affectionate but he is extremely low functioning. He requires constant care and supervision. Worst of all, he
is extremely strong. We have missed you.
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:13 AM ()
BTW: I caught up on all of your posts.
reply by dragonflyby on July 6, 2012 11:03 AM ()
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I am the mother of a special needs child. My son Joshua has Aspergers a form of Autism. We are very lucky in the fact that is a very high functioning Autism, but there have been many struggles along the way with daycare and the school system. When I was pregnant I obsessed about Autism, it was almost like I somehow knew. I love my son very much but I was not prepared for the special help I would need. It was almost as if my two older had been cookie cutter children and this one was a free hand creation. The stress all of this put on our small family was almost crushing, but we lived because thats all you can do.

I also work for a state contracted company assisting DD adults. The institutions are long gone but these companies help individuals live in the community with full lives. Your grandson could benefit from a program like this and your daughter would be able to have some relief. I have seen some of these clients blossom in a way nobody thought was possible.
comment by wickedwitchofthewest on July 6, 2012 10:47 AM ()
My daughter works for Cerebral Palsy and like you, she has it at home and
at work. I think a person is drawn to this because they have developed so
much understanding. I am so glad you are dealing with Aspergers instead
of the extremely low functioning child. Eric has only recently been toilet
trained. He has had countless hours of speech therapy, physical therapy
and occupational therapy. Because of the difficulty Eric would have in
a public school, he has had home schooling. Even some form of day care
would help. As it is, my daughter and her husband have not had time
together since he was born.
reply by elderjane on July 7, 2012 4:23 AM ()

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