That is the only way I can think of our family troubles. Mh cousin , who had a long an productive life aside from the last few years of having Aphasia departed and her funeral was last week. Our cousins from California are here and staying with my sister. On top of this, my grand nephew, a beautiful drug addicted boy blew his brains out on Saturday. We are in turmoil and I still do not know when the funeral will be. Ryan could never get his life straightend out. He had tried numerous programs and none of them helped. we dreaded to see him coming because he stole to support his habit. He was charming and one of the best looking men I have ever seen. Of course he was not thinking about his mother, but this is very hard for her. If you recall my previous post, her husband bled to death in her arms two months ago. She and her first husband and daughter are trying to make some sort of sense of this. But of course they will inevitabkt feel some guilt even though earlier in the day they had tried to check him into St. Anthony's psychiatric unit and were told there was not a bed for him. I had the cousins here for lunch Sunday and put the worst meal of my life on the table. At least we were together and feeling lucky not to be vain but I am a good cook and unaccustomed to so many failures. I started with an enormous beef roast, (it cost 78 dollars) and went south. This is my tale of woe and I won't expound on it any more. I am just going for more caffene.