Another Christmas wrapping up... I have had my side of the family over for most of the day. So I have about enough of a holiday. I am ready for the tree and junk to be put back in boxes and stored until next Thanksgiving when the man loses his mind and gets drunk on the Christmas Spirit!

I thought my family would be a little more eventful today. There was one minor argument between my mother and sister. It ended quickly even though I was standing there pumping my fist shouting FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! It usually works but everyone was a little too even tempered for a holiday.

My sister finally came thru later in the evening when she spilt her cup o wine into her purse. Yikes! She got so upset she used her usual "I should just kill myself". Yep that is my sister. She could stub her toe and proclaim "I should just kill myself!" The first time she said it she was probroly about seven and her ice cream fell off the cone into the dirt and she yelled out what would become her mantra "I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF!!!"

I auditioned for a play last weeked. The theatrical community around here is very tight knit and I thought I would try to infiltrate the group. What I really thought is I am going to walk in to the audition and blow their minds!!! My audition would be so astronomical that it would leave them wondering "Who is this natural born actress?" You know I was the star of my beging acting class back in 2005.

I thought I had the lead in the bag! My audition was awesome by my standards. I left feeling amazing and I knew I got a part, the lead part, but of course I would accept any part (just to be humble), but knew I would be the STAR!!!!

A couple days later I awaited egerly the cast list email. When it finally came I had my kids gather round the old computer and I explained that I just want to be in the play, but I knew I would get my part, but I would take anything offered. So I opened it and started to scrool down searching for my name and searching.... There it was way down on the bottom. Bahiyyih Mudd casted as Officer Pudney. What the f and hell is going on Officer PUDNEY???

Let me explain, Officer Pudney has the least speaking rolls. If you took away one of Pudney's lines, it would be a non speaking roll! The topper to all of this fiasco is Pudney is a bumbiling IDIOT!!! My daughter who is due to have her baby in Febuary laughed soo hard she peed her pants a little and ran up stairs to the restroom. Now she keeps calling ME Officer Pee Pee Pudney.

I have decided although my ego is injured a bit, I will take the part. I will not only take the part, but I will steal the show! No one is going to remember any part of the long winded play only my single line. I will make every other actor so jealous. They will all wish that they could have been casted as Officer Pee Pee Pudney!

Happy Holidays!