So it has been a while... I will blame my absence on reality tv. I am hooked from Real Housewives to Hoarders I can not seem to get enough, but since the baby is refusing to sleep I have a chance to think without help of my Bad Girls Club... Ah the cheap thrills of life.
Fact number one: I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER! See why I am looking for an escape. One almost out of diapers and another in the need of diaper money too soon to really think about. Some many ask me "Well how old is she?" WHO CARES HOW OLD SHE IS WHAT ABOUT ME????? I am NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE A GRANDMA! Grandmas are not suppose to have periods! Right?
Fact number two: My seven year old has Aspergers. It explains a lot. He has had such a hard time with school and so on. I feel like most feel when this sort of thing happens. Why me? I have always given the best parenting advice. Doesn't that count? Teachers want him medicated, which I do NOT agree with, unless he is prescribed Vicodin. Then we will split it...
Fact number three: My two year old still refuses to watch tv... NOW WHO IS GOING TO RAISE HER? Sponge Bob handled the last three.
Fact number four: My fifteen year old has been expelled... I have hopes he will be in school again soon for the simple fact after I told the priciple to GO TO HELL!!! I ran back in and apologized! I think it helped...
Fact number five: THE MAN WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY! Please say it aint so!!! Sorry it is true. I have been practicing a natural form of birth control. It is very simple you just be an unattractive as humanly possible AT ALL TIMES!! I have stopped shaving ALL things... Sure I have a mustache but I am not getting screwed!
I have been doing very well with the stand up. I have made a little name for my self in the comedy circles of the North West. It has been an exciting, nerve racking, roller coaster of emotions. I love it. It feels Soo good it may be Dysfunctional.