I may have met my match. Enter my menopausal boss. Yikes! We made eye contact yesterday and it was like looking into a mirror of hot sweaty ticked off mess. As we locked eyes for longer than the recommended polite glance she said to me in an edgy voice "What?" I said "I don't know? What?" We then both looked away in search of more vulnerable prey. Menopause vs. pregnancy with triple digit temperatures = death match!

Yesterday was the company BBQ and I was stationed at a BBQ flipping burgers with aggression not seen by most. Then comes in some gal that works for the company with the most annoying gaggling voice I have ever heard! I don't know her but I hate that voice. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It took everything I had not to scream out "WHY DON"T YOU SHUT UP!!" Instead I turned to my male BBQ assistant and said "I hope I don't have to kill anyone!" He replied with a nervous giggle.

I don't know if I was meant to be a worker bee. I am more like the daydreaming bee that lives on the outskirts of the hive that won't answer her door and would rather live off Raman noodle than have to participate in "teamwork" to collect pollen. You know where you can shove that pollen? Yes that’s it right there.

I know I have said this several times, but I must be repetitive and say "I WANT BEER!!!" Do you really know how long 9 months really is? Well neither do I but it is f-ing long. Oh beer and a huge, and I mean HUGE cigarette! F- the cigarette give me a carton or two then drop me on a desert island. I will talk to the trees for company and who needs food when you have beer?

I have been having sex dreams, but not even good ones! I have been having the gross why did I do that dreams. I felt up my old man landlord the other night in a dream and it was so gross that I was disgusted even before I woke up! Why aren’t good sex dreams that vivid? Where the hell is my dreamy sexy guy? I wonder if he is busy with his own old lady landlord sex dream?

Well I guess that’s it! That should sum up whats been going down! I am just on the edge of sanity! I think I will make it but I don't think I can speak for anyone else. Its every man woman and child for themselves so get the hell off my raft!