Sitting quietly in the den looking at E mail and my blog. Ed is out somewhere. I do not expect to hear heavy breathing, but I do. I look around and there is Brunswick, in his orangeness, snoring gently in the other chair. I think there is something so funny and endearing about animals snoring. Am I weird?

I was cleaning the kitty litter a day ago and there lolling luxuriously as if it were on the Roach Riviera, was a giant specimen that down here is called a Palmetto bug but is really a giant, giant roach. Giant. I halved it with the metal scraper, but it wouldn’t give up. Its various parts kept wiggling and trying to avoid the scoop. I would have thought that being in the litter that is super absorbent, the critter would get dehydrated big time and keel over. Not. Also you may notice such a bug, belly up because it has been behind the fridge where we have sprayed bug killer and you leave it, thinking, I’ll get it after I do blah blah and then forget. If it’s an out of the way place, it can stay there a week and when you go to get this sucker, he jumps up and starts running, lamely though. I certainly don’t want to grab up what I think is a dead bug, even with a piece of paper towel, and have it start agitating in my hand. No No No. So I put the paper over the bug and stomp on it. It’s the only way.

Years ago at the loft, I had an infestation of ants. I tried stomping on them but they just got up after I moved my foot, uncoiled and went on their way. I swear I heard tiny laughter. But I had a stroke of genius and vacuumed them all up. They ate dust in the VC bag until such time as I emptied it. The following year, I think. The loft was almost uncleanable. It had unfinished wood floors. It had tons of stuff stored everywhere. I finally cleaned it out but only after I lost Jay.

I have forced myself to get out earlier, walk, do pier exercises (stretches and some jumps). This wipes me out. I come home and rest. Later I ride my bike. Sometimes I do the whole hour I have set for myself. If I am very tired and lately that happens a lot, I’ll cut the ride short, particularly if there is a high wind. I make dinner and clean up saving some clean-up for later. Ed eats leftovers again after dinner, using new dishes so I don’t run the washer till very late. Of if he gets up at 2 a.m. and watches TV, he’ll snack and put the dirty dishes in the fridge to avoid feeding the bugs.

I am thinking that I am tired partly because I don’t get enough oxygen. I appear to be chronically congested. A deviated septum was corrected some years ago but I don’t think the doctor got the passageway cleared as effectively as he might have. At any given time I am only breathing fully through one nostril. I hate to think I need surgery again.

Xx, Teal