Terry Gross of NPR interviewed Sherren el Feki a woman born to a Muslim father and a Swedish (I think -- in any case a Scandinavian) mother. She has written a book, Sex and the Citadel, in which she documents the sexual and social practices in the Arab world.

What is striking is that the genital mutilation of female children (the clitoris is cut off), most often done in their pre-teen and teen years, is not only common in “enlightened” countries like Egypt, but is condoned by the also-mutilated mothers of these children. It is a cultural tradition more than it is a religious dictate, and the reason behind it is that this “insures” that females will not grow up to demand sex and/or pursue sex with anyone who struck their fancy – their desires uncontrollable, their lives a constant drooling after men to assuage an always insistent “lust.”

Currently 70-80 percent of female children in Egypt are so mutilated. El Feki also spoke with young, married women who had been surgically altered. They said they enjoyed sex, but they weren’t talking about orgasms. Personally I think the clitoris is over-rated and put my money on the G spot but maybe there is, indeed, a pathway from the clitoris to the G spot.

However, my view does not support the involuntary alteration of generations of Arab women who were not born to be sexual ciphers.

Women in Muslim countries, by and large, also think it is okay for a husband to beat a wife who does “not feel like it right now.”

El Feki is not one of these, having grown up in a Western culture.

It is also interesting that she spoke with young women who were making extra money by having sexual contact with men who paid them. How, El Feki, asked, could they escape the draconian examination of every bride when it was time for them to marry (relatives have been known to crowd into the deflowering bedroom to check the sheets for hymen blood) so that she may be deemed acceptable and not a dishonor to the husband's family. The young women said their hymens were intact, and they were having anal penetration and also performing blow jobs. They also, this is priceless, thought that by so doing, they were avoiding HIV.

I just thought I would share these time-honored traditions. If any woman of marriageable age is reading this and thinks she has the hots for a foreign-born sexy guy from the Arab world, be forewarned. They may be charming but once they own you, you’re toast. And their mothers own you too. Enlightened Arab men are a rarity.

xx, Teal