Edward is waiting to get a date to take the state exam to be a guardian officially. Meanwhile, he oversaw a case referred to him by a lawyer who knew him through his ombudsman work, to become a trustee for a terminally ill woman.

He took this case in October. The lawyer and the woman, Donna, came to our house and the details were hashed out. She had certain wishes – that she be allowed to remain in her condo, that she not be in pain, etc. Donna was very likable. She came with her granddaughter, Maya, who was visiting.

So Ed took over her finances and dealt with her out of town family and made sure she had health aides, and kept her estate out of probate (he’s really good financially).
This last Saturday, Maya, who had come earlier that week at Ed’s request because he knew Donna was failing, said her last goodbye to her grandmother and left to return to her home in the north. Ed had spent the week winding up Donna’s affairs and arranging for cremation and getting Donna’s signature on relevant papers.

After the granddaughter left, Donna said to Linda, the aide, “it’s time to get this show on the road.” She asked for a Neil Diamond record to be played and passed away while they were chatting.

She died of metastatic brain cancer – Ed had told her that if the tumor grew large enough, it would press on her brain stem and death would be quick and painless. She thought that would be okay. And it seems that is what happened.

Linda called Ed, and I went with him to the condo because I thought he just might like my company on such a sad occasion. He took care of final matters. The aide cleaned out the refrigerator and separated all prescription pain meds for Anne, the hospice nurse to take (and dispose of). Anne was called and came to pronounce Donna. I helped her dress Donna with pajama pants so she wouldn’t be without cover. The men came from the crematorium, put her on the gurney, wrapped her in plastic, put a throw over the plastic and they were gone.

I looked around at her condo at her books. After some time in which she could not do much, it had gotten very cluttered. She had had an active intellectual life – I related to the authors she liked. It was a look into a future that is troublesome, but it is what it is.

Later that night, I had some waking visual nightmares as I have been known to have. But I anticipated that I would. At least I didn’t wake Ed (that I have done and he hates that).

He’s there today. He is meeting the aide and they are packing up stuff. He must sell the condo and her boat, and put the funds into the estate for distribution to the grandchildren.

Meanwhile he has a slipped disc, is wearing a brace and I was treated to a very snippy Ed this morning. I forgave him.

xx, Teal