Randy

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solitaire
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Randy
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Rossville, IN
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03/24
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Single
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Human Resources

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Par For The Course

Life & Events > Relationships > One Year Ago
 

One Year Ago

It's been nearly one year since I was virtually "kicked out" of the Rossville Senior Golf League.

I was disqualified from winning the end of year tournament for neglecting to ride a golf cart as "mandated" by the rules committee (to speed up play). I prefer walking (although i rented a cart and had my clubs on it). So I left the league, the golf course, my friends, my Lions club (to avoid committee members), etc.

I started a new golf life this past Spring at Deer Track Golf Course, 3 miles further away (at 8 mi.). A couple of guys followed me there--Leroy and Paster Ed. I'm playing with them this morning, in fact.

I'm simply reporting in that I have been VERY happy with my decision to make the switch. I love the golf course (much better and tougher), and enjoy the new friends I've come to meet. I plan on returning next year (if I'm still alive).

Except for my neighbor Ken, I have not had any contact with the former rules committee individuals. Last month, Ken stopped beside me in his vehicle as I walking down our road. He said he "couldn't take it anymore", my ignoring him by not waving or speaking. He wanted us to be friendly neighbors again. He said he was sorry they voted me out, that it was a mistake. I continued walking, never looking at him, not saying a word. He started to "break down", asking for "forgiveness". I relented by shaking his hand.

It is still a painful memory, and I'm not over the bitterness yet. But this is a step. I'm still rather cool to Ken, but I'll wave and small talk (he does all the talking). I know you'll (readers) give me advice (which I don't want but will accept). Nobody can be in my shoes and know how I feel about this whole situation.

Be it known, I am content with my decision and actions--and happy with where I am and where I'm going, both physically and emotionally. Life goes on.

posted on Aug 29, 2011 4:35 AM ()

Comments:

Well Randy I probably would act the same as you did. Not the best way perhaps but I am quite stubborn now and then. Decisions they made a year ago should have been changed then and not a year later. For me it would be too late when i would receive an excuse a year later.....
comment by itsjustme on Sept 1, 2011 6:49 AM ()
Sorry for the late response. Thanks for checking in. Hope all is well.
reply by solitaire on Sept 8, 2011 5:04 AM ()
Forgiveness is not a female thing. Psychologically for most scenarios, forgiveness is a healer. There are exceptions of course, but so far you haven't described any that meet that criteria. Hate and anger eat away at one's guts. There is the tendency, when wronged, to view all situations that remotely connect to your experience as weighted with the same dynamic. That is not only flawed thinking, it is grossly unfair to new people you encounter. Anyway, you can forgive without, at the same time, allowing those who have wronged you to get another chance. It's a balancing act but well worth doing and once you get the hang of it, it's like walking and chewing gum at the same time.
comment by tealstar on Aug 31, 2011 6:10 AM ()
Been there, done that with a bunch of snotty bitches. I have no doubt your decision to leave was the right one.
comment by nittineedles on Aug 30, 2011 2:51 PM ()
And we each move on with our lives. Amen.
reply by solitaire on Aug 31, 2011 4:40 AM ()
You said you did rent a cart and had your clubs on it, but who was driving it?
comment by shelc on Aug 30, 2011 2:01 AM ()
My playing partner (and friend). Ironically, the year before, I drove the cart while another player walked. He was not punished. I brought that up, but to no avail. They were out to get me for some unknown reason.
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:32 AM ()
A neighbour is a neighbour. I'd patch things up with him (but only him) just for the reason. He asked for forgiveness, so give it.
comment by crazylife on Aug 29, 2011 10:34 PM ()
I'm doing the best I can. It's not easy to "kiss and make up". Happy you dropped by.
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:47 AM ()
You did right.
comment by jondude on Aug 29, 2011 6:34 PM ()
The men "get it"! Thanks Jon.
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:45 AM ()
I'm with Marta. Grudges may "feel good" but they take things out of you and if someone is contrite, he deserves a break.
comment by tealstar on Aug 29, 2011 12:11 PM ()
Must be a female thing (you, Marta, Laura). Or should I reverse that?
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:44 AM ()
That was very nice of you to understand.Surely,he missed you.
The golf cart story must had been a joke for you.
Walking slow up the game,whats the hurry?Glad that you found a better place to enjoy your game.Keep Swinging.
comment by fredo on Aug 29, 2011 8:43 AM ()
Sort of like when a person dies and people say "He's in a better place". I am.
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:42 AM ()
All this over a little white ball???? I never will understand you unforgiving jocks!!!
comment by greatmartin on Aug 29, 2011 8:10 AM ()
I know, I know. Nobody died or got injured. Still......
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:40 AM ()
No comment, Randy. I think you can guess what I would say. Hint: what Marta said. There is no emoticon for Life is Too Short.
comment by troutbend on Aug 29, 2011 6:54 AM ()
Remember, "feelings are neither right or wrong". If you ask what motivates me, it's to outlive my enemies!
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:38 AM ()
I am glad you are happy with your decision. That's what matters.
comment by kristilyn3 on Aug 29, 2011 6:40 AM ()
Happy as a lark! Hope all is well with you.
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:36 AM ()
Glad you've moved on, but it still seems like you're holding a grudge. Holding grudges just tries you emotionally to past unpleasantness. Who needs that? Let it go.
comment by marta on Aug 29, 2011 6:10 AM ()
Reread my next to last paragraph (and last, for that matter).
reply by solitaire on Aug 30, 2011 4:34 AM ()

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