Dear Savings account,

I am so truly sorry that we are going to have to remove around five thousand of your single friends tomorrow, from the balance you've worked so hard to achieve, so we can pay the roofing guys.

It probably wouldn't bother you as much to see your friends go, if we were using them for something fun... like a vacation. You're well aware that we could get two trips to Las Vegas from this amount and have at times brought some new friends from Sin City home with us to replenish your balance.

Although your total number of friends seems to grow slower than I would like, I hope you will be happy with the few thousands you have left after the withdrawal has been made. Please stick together, request new friends and multiply quickly. We will continue to deposit new friends into your balance as life permits, but unless somebody dies and leaves us a bunch of "friends", these deposits will most likely be sparse through the holidays. So please stay strong through all of this.

Mark and I thank you for the interest (though little as it was) you have brought to our lives and hope to do business with you again soon.