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That's All She Wrote

Home & Garden > Christmas Lights Suck

Christmas Lights Suck

In case you didn't know...

Christmas lights SUCK!


Do not be fooled by the advertisement on the box that states, "when one light goes out, the others stay lit."

Do not be lulled into a safe assumption that these particular Christmas lights will not pose any problems for you in your decorating frenzy. The box is ONLY advertising HALF TRUTHS.

While it may be true that when "one" light goes out, the rest stay lit...

What they FAIL to tell you is that when half the strand goes out...


and it stays out, no matter how many times you shake your strand!

leaving you standing there, stranded with your stupid strand of half-lit lights.

And those extra bulbs they send you? And those tiny fuses?? USELESS!

There is a conspiracy to get people to buy lights EVERY year.


I ought a wrap my useless strands around corporate necks & strandle them!

posted on Dec 3, 2010 6:48 AM ()


Too funny! I firmly believe that these lights are manufactured by a atheists who want to get back at believers.
comment by hayduke on Dec 14, 2010 9:10 AM ()
Hmmm...I've had the same strands of lights for years now. I'm sorry your having a holiday struggle!Here's hoping you'll be back to your normally very cheery self after a quick strangling of someone...
comment by juliansmom on Dec 6, 2010 7:11 AM ()
I'm sticking with candles in the windows of my third floor apartment.
May this upset pass and your holiday spirit and smiles return!
comment by marta on Dec 4, 2010 7:05 PM ()
I don't know if we're having outside lights this year. He put the timer we use for them on a fiberoptic Christmas tree in the front window, and I think that's the extent of his spirit. It's not up to me, so I'm keeping my mouth shut.
comment by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 7:23 PM ()
I'm still trying to talk DH into NOT putting up outside lights. He stresses over it for a week before hand and makes himself sick the day before Christmas, putting up the lights in either pouring, icy rain or a blizzard. I say, "Let people think we're Jehovah's Witnesses. I don't care."
comment by nittineedles on Dec 3, 2010 1:34 PM ()
oh, nitti, anything but Jehovan's Witnesses ... anything. Guh, ugh, oh my.
reply by tealstar on Dec 3, 2010 4:12 PM ()
I hate that too!! So I go to the dollar store every year and then toss them after Christmas!
comment by meranda on Dec 3, 2010 8:38 AM ()
we don't put up lights. we have a "Jewish/Christmas" dinner and no decorations. I do enjoy the outdoor lights others put up. Ed won't go for that. I'd like to get a lit reindeer. Sigh.
reply by tealstar on Dec 3, 2010 4:14 PM ()
Oh how well I do agree !!!!!
comment by oldfatguy on Dec 3, 2010 8:15 AM ()

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