My parents divorced when I was in the 4th grade. Done with minimal animosity between my Mom & Dad, it didn't seem like a life altering event at the time.
Looking back now, what I know for sure is, is that if there is a way to go through and live after a divorce that causes as little lifetime trauma to a child, my folks nailed it.
Though Mom & Dad lived in two different homes, they loved and raised me & my sister Pam together. My parents allowed, and most importantly encouraged, me and my sister to love and respect the other parent. Never in all my cataloged memories, can I recall either one of my parents utter a disparaging word in regards to the other parent. I didn't realize it at the time, but now know that their post-divorce behavior had a huge impact on my well being & self worth. Parents aren't supposed to make their children choose between them... and mine NEVER did.
Unlike some of the unfortunate children who rarely saw their Father's after a divorce broke their home, I was one of the lucky ones. My Daddy stayed close to me throughout his life. He saw us on Sundays when were very young, for weekends as we got older and eventually we'd stay weeks at a time with him during summer vacation. People will often use the words "never" & "ever" to exaggerate a point, but when I say that my Father NEVER EVER missed a single visitation with us, I am in no way exaggerating. And THAT says something about his responsibility, love and devotion for his girls.
My Dad's been gone for almost 25 years now, but to this day, I can still reminisce with my Mom about him. She will speak of him in a kind and loving way that's so gracious and wonderful. I adore her for that.
Even though my Mom and Dad couldn't get along with one another, they never robbed me and my sister the gift of loving BOTH of them.