I've been divorced for over 10 years now from the father of my children. It's been more than a decade since I was an "official" member of my ex-husband's family. Years, since I had the same last name of my children, my ex mother/father-in-law and my ex brother-in-laws and their wives.

But there are members of my ex-husbands family that I'm still "family" with.

My ex-husband's older brother John is married to Beth. John and Beth are my ex-husband's and my oldest daughter Lauren's Godparents. John and Beth's daughter Katie is my Goddaughter. John and Beth were maid of honor and best man at my first wedding. Their kids call me Aunt Terri and my husband Uncle Mark.

Then there is my ex-husband's younger brother Kevin who is married to Karen. My ex and I stood up in Kevin and Karen's wedding. Kevin is my daughter Sara's Godfather. Their kids too, call us Aunt Terri & Uncle Mark.

Next to my sister Pam, Beth and Karen are my very best friends. I have been to Beth's house twice this week and talked to Karen for almost 2 hours on the phone yesterday. I absolutely adore these two girls (and their husbands/families). But they have truly had to endure some pretty rough times to stay friends with me.

After my ex-husband's second wife pointed out the "inappropriateness" of a continued friendship between my ex-husbands brothers/wives and me, things got really REALLY ugly for awhile. Not for me.... for them. They literally had to fight to maintain our friendship. My ex-husbands 2nd wife drew lines in the sand and demanded that they "QUIT" being friends with me. The tension was so great at times, that I myself wanted to let these wonderful friends "off the hook". There were moments I would say to them that it's not worth it to stay friends. It's causing so much pain. The family is coming apart. People aren't speaking to one another. The family is divided.

I would say, "Let me go so you guys can have peace again. The family is fractured and it's because you're friend with me."

But Beth and Karen, individually would not "allow" me to drop out. It wasn't "worth it" to them to loose me as a friend.

Beth would say to me, "I need you in my life."

Karen would say to me, "Peace at any price is no peace at all."

I can't express the guilt I've felt over the years about the state of "my ex-family". I've worried about my best girl friends and their husbands who've had to defend their friendships with me to their brother and parents all this time.

I always thought the price was so high... too high to choose friendship over family.

The truth is... when they were "forced" to MAKE A CHOICE... they made one...

You can't choose your family...

THANK GOD! ... You can choose your friends!


These two pics were taken at our annual summer party a couple of years ago.

Starting with the guy in the blue chair and to the left, my husband Mark, my ex-brother-in law Kevin, my sister Pam's husband Peter, my friend Chris, my ex-brother-in law John, my friend Bill, and finally John's best friend Chopper, who is also my best friend that I got to keep after my divorce, tee hee. (Chopper also stood up in my first wedding)


Here's the girls...
Starting on the left in the red chair, that's Gayle (married to Bill), my sister Pam, my Mom (holding my granddaughter, her great-granddaughter), my oldest daughter Lauren, Ann Marie (Chris's wife) and my ex-sister-in-law) Beth (married to John) Karen my ex-sister-in-law (Kevin's wife)was chasing her kids, lol.