I am an upbeat, happy, thankful, grateful and appreciative person. I am very animated, silly, funny and kinda loud sometimes... though I've been working on my decibel levels ever since the 5th grade, when my teacher wrote "she's loud" in the comments section of each semester of my report card that year...


MOST of the time, I'm able to

find the silver lining

count my blessings

pray for those less fortunate

attempt to find the lesson in difficult situations


I am usually bouncing happily and joyfully along the delightful path of my life, taking care of my husband, my kids, my grand baby, my family, my friends and myself ...

In whatever order is needed at the time :)

I honestly wake up HAPPY in the morning.

My Mom has always told me that "Happiness is a choice."
And I believe that to be true.

But just when I'm cruisin along...

having a wonderful time

thinking...

LIFE IS SO DANG GOOD

while thanking God for all the treasures (that money can't buy) in my life...

And how in the world did I EVER get this lucky??


BAM! BOOM! .... HOLY CRAP... AND SON OF A BITCH...
(wish I could make the font REALLY REALLY BIG HERE)

Back to:
BAM! BOOM! .... HOLY CRAP... AND SON OF A BITCH...

That HORRIBLE woman that my ex-husband married says something about me or my oldest daughter to the two youngest kids OR simply does something hateful to them, and I find myself plummeting, at break neck speed, towards ANGER.

I physically feel the blood flowing, my face flush and my heart race.

I choose not speak to this woman anymore, since I've determined that she's crazy and I simply don't have the qualifications to unscramble her eggs. I haven't exchanged written word through email with her in YEARS. I don't even look in her direction when we're all at the same event/venue for one of the kids. (I secretly fear that giant balls of flames will shoot through me, if I look right at her, like in the first Indiana Jones movie)

BUT ...

I struggle with the complications that arise from her "non-presence, yet "presence" in my life.

She's not a part of my life, but she is...

She's not my problem, but she is...

She's has no control over my happiness, but she does...


I want to be happy. I don't want to be angry.

More than that, I don't WANT to give that woman (or anyone really) the slightest bit of power to MAKE me angry.

But how can I NOT be angry when she hurts my children??

How can I NOT react to the random HATEFUL things she spews to the kids?

It would be impossible to NOT be affected, right?


She is the polar opposite to my happiness. She is the ONLY "blip" on the radar of my terrific life. She's like an ugly bruise on an otherwise healthy beautiful body.

I am the rose...

She is the mutated thorn that got an overdose of miracle grow.

I don't wish her dead. I don't even wish her ill will. It is evident that karma has definitely gotten a hold of her and dished out her proper punishments. (She is married to my ex after all)

But I've often wished...

that she wasn't a part of my life

that she wasn't part of my kids lives

that she wasn't part of my friends and "ex" in-laws lives



Most of the time, I am NOT a complainer.

Most of my posts/articles are NOT those of complaints, right?

So when I do complain ...

Oh! It's gonna be about her for sure.

I'm guessing (hoping, wishing and praying really...) that in a couple short years, when the last two kids graduate from high school and become adults, "her" interaction in their daily lives will just about be eliminated, thus stamping out her "presence" in my life.

At that point, whatever "crap" she 'throws up' will splatter and fall on my ex-husbands ears ONLY (TEE HEE... I suppose that's "his" punishment)

The kids and I will no longer have to subject ourselves to her vomit of words.


But until then... "SHE" is the CONTRADICTION in MY world of happiness.