Tim

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redwolftimes
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Tim
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The Front Porch Gazette

Parenting & Family > The Way Things Are..a Reality Check
 

The Way Things Are..a Reality Check

Many people know me as Redwolftimes, author of the blog "The Front Porch Gazette". What maybe you don't
know is that I have 3 children, and one of my children
is a "special needs" child. He is on the Autism spectrum,fortunately he is on the high functioning end
of the spectrum. I have spent the better part of the last 8 years watching my son struggle with his disability, but by the same token I have seen him triumph when the odds (and people who couldn't find their butt with both hands)said that he didn't have a chance. I have also witnessed first hand the prejudice and assumptions made out of ignorance, that somehow his disability was in some way linked to his
ability to learn & grow as a human being. I have also had to endure the stares and angry looks of strangers when my child has a behavior, again I chalk it up to ignorance and a lack of understanding of the situation. It hasn't been easy these past 8 years, I'd be lying if I said it was. But what it has been is a learning experience, one that I feel truly blessed that I have been able to watch (and marvel) at the process that my son has gone through. He is a happy and very loving special little man, and not a day goes by that I feel thankful he is in our lives. Recently a blogger here at MyBloggers questioned Governor Palin and her husbands decision go ahead with the birth of her baby, even though the child was diagnosed with Downs Syndrome. Choosing to refer to the baby as "retarded", which in my opinion was not only cruel but devoid of any sensitivity. Also brought into question was why Governor Palin didn't stay at home and tend to her child instead of being involved in a Pesidential election. I found that viewpoint to be a tad archaic in nature and laden with misinformation. Ever since my 1st child was born I have been their daycare..yes "daddy day care". But I have also worked, mostly "graveyard" shifts and I have worked 40+ hours in this time period. But child care is just part of my home responsibilities, I also cook,do laundry, and houseclean while my wife works outside the home & attends nursing school on the weekends. I feel very competent in the level of care and attention I provide for my children, for what they lack in material goods is more then made up with the love my wife and I give them. So take my advice before you make broad, general comments as you have, walk a mile in my shoes and see if you don't come away with a different opinion.

posted on Sept 3, 2008 8:21 AM ()

Comments:

My hat is off to you. I can't imagine how you've been able to deal with with insensitive remarks and stares aimed at your son. You should be proud of your restraint.
comment by solitaire on Sept 7, 2008 7:07 AM ()
I see alot of behaviors in my son that I exhibited when I was his age. Unfortunatly I was raised in an age where little was known about Autism, and most of these "behaviors" were chalked up to "acting up". I know I took some beatings for my outbursts. I know I struggled and went through some very dark and lonely times as a child, some that I still carry with me. But now I want to make sure my son doesn't tread the same path
comment by redwolftimes on Sept 4, 2008 6:31 AM ()
Having a special needs child can be challenging but they can be a blessing also. I do believe that God doesn't give us any more than we can handle, even in this area. It is with great joy that I have worked with developmentally disabled children and adults most of my working life. We are fortunate to have them in our lives.
comment by busymichmom on Sept 3, 2008 10:09 PM ()
comment by strider333 on Sept 3, 2008 7:36 PM ()
Tim, believe it or not. Both my children are "Autistic". My daughter was diagnosed as "Asparagers" (More high functioning), and my son true "Autism (but on the higher functioning side. I raised them with their mother awhile, but most of their lives I raised them alone. I seen the "struggles". I had to get them to classes, autistic consultants, mental health professionals, all that. So believe me, no matter what you think about me personally, I do "understand". Probably better then you think. I doubt there is one "professional" (or person who really knows me) who will say they haven't turned out "Great". Respectful, loving.. all that. You may think it didn't come from "dad".. lol.. it did. You just "pretend to know me, but don't. Anyway, best of luck. I know what struggles are involved.
comment by coincutter on Sept 3, 2008 6:55 PM ()
Liked this post.Tim.
Rumors going around that he may dumped her.Will see.
This was on Yahooo.
comment by fredo on Sept 3, 2008 10:25 AM ()
Great post. I read a comment recently, in reference to Palin, that advocated BOTH the abortion of special needs fetuses and mothers staying at home with their children. Without getting bogged down in the whole abortion debate, I find it almost hypocritical to espouse both opinions at the same time. See ya 'round.
comment by jerms on Sept 3, 2008 8:53 AM ()
You are a VERY special man-he isn't--as is your wife (putting up with you--KIDDING)--I would like to think that that blogger's remarks and use of words is just to do with ignorance--you are teaching him by example.
comment by greatmartin on Sept 3, 2008 8:37 AM ()

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