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Yesterday J n’ I finally booked a place to hold our reception after we return from our elopement. (I still haven’t figured this out yet – is it considered eloping if everyone knows about it, but no one is invited?) We were originally planning on having a simple outdoor reception, but late September weather can be unpredictable, and I quickly learned that renting a freakin' tent is twice as expensive as renting a venue along the waterfront. Seriously! I was shocked. Anyhow, it felt wonderful to find a place to hold it, and have another item checked off our endless to-do list.

With that nonsense out of the way, today I decided to browse around online to see if there are any cheap wedding favours that I could order. I figure since some guests are going to be flying all the way out from Ontario, and we’re not even serving them a full meal -- just some light finger foods -- the least we could do is give them some little token doo-dad they can take back.
Most of the crap I've found online is well... just that... crap. Nothing was really striking my fancy. A couple years ago, my cousin gave out purple pens at her wedding with their names and wedding date on that. I thought that was pretty cool as it was something useful... until it rolled under my car seat and then I accidentally stepped on it and broke it in half. That kinda sucked. I liked that purple pen. But yeah... I haven't found any pens online... just mints, novelty candles, and other tchotchke junk.
Anyhow, while surfing I stumbled across these customizable fortune cookies. You can write up to five different fortunes that you want to appear inside. The website gave a few suggestions based on things that others have written, and that line really resonated with me:

“Don't marry someone you can live with… marry someone you cannot live without.”
Gawd, that is SO true, isn’t it?

Now, I am not going to get on a high horse here, (alright... well, it’s my blog, so maybe I will), but I have to say that I honestly know far more couples who are together just because it was convenient, than those who when I look at them I can't help but think, "Man, they are *so* meant to be together." Like one of my favourite lines in one of my all-time favourite movies, Forrest Gump, "Jenny n' I were like peas and carrots." I think there's a real shortage of peas and carrots in the world... and all I'm constantly seeing is a whole lotta freezer-burned brussle sprouts and beets.
Now, I realize that the years can sometimes change things... fair enough. But honestly, if you think of all the folks you know, how many of them are in lukewarm relationships versus soulmate relationships. And how many of them actually know the difference? Everyone else can see it... but can they? Who really knows how far the rabbit hole of love really goes. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes what we think is real love, we later learn that it was really not... or at least it was not as intense or pure.
I thought I was in love once, and now looking back, I know that I wasn't. Because the love I had, and the love I've got simply don't come anywhere close in comparison. It might've been love (or perhaps merely lust) at one time, but I think I eventually taught myself that I had to love that person because I believed that no one else would have the patience to put up with him or love him like I did. How sick (and not to mention arrogant) is that?! I felt as if it was my duty to love him, through thick and thin, no matter what b.s. I had to deal with on a daily basis. Afterall, I rationalized, it wasn't like he was abusive at all... he was just an asshole to me and well, pretty much everyone else he was close to.

Finally, enough was enough and we went our separate ways. He learned a few lessons about himself and so did I. He became a better person, and I like to think that I did too. We couldn't grow as individuals until we had grown apart. Instead we had wasted all those years in a stagnant mode of settling for what we had -- what we thought was supposed to be love -- when really we both knew that there had to be something more... something better out there.
Of course, I have to admit that it was relatively easy for me to move onwards and upwards after that relationship. We weren't married and we didn't have kids. We just had six years of CDs
and some second hand furniture to divy up. Oh yeah, and our cat who we had recently adopted... but since I was staying in the house, the cat stayed with me.
After that, I remember telling myself that I would *never* settle ever again. And fortunately, I haven't had to. J exceeds my expectations for what I was looking for in more ways than I could've ever imagined.