There are times in this life I feel as though I am losing my mind... last night I was pissed at R, stupid reasons per usual, so now I am pissed at myself and wonder if I should remain in a relationship at times like these when I am just a psycho, mostly. I guess it's not THAT bad but man, I couldn't sleep last night. My head was spinning with thoughts. I had the most bizarre dreams about R and him treating me badly. Strange. I don't get it. He's never treated me bad, intentionally or otherwise. WHAT IS MY DEAL?
I need to keep in mind what Hayduke said (why do I always refer to him lately? :0)) but my words DO impact people. I say a lot of stupid words to R that I don't really mean. I need to watch them more carefully or like he said last night, he's going to feel as though he can't do anything right, and ya know what? Nothing could be further from the truth, which I told him. So he doesn't listen and buys the wrong orange juice. He tried. So he doesn't listen and puts things away in weird spots. He tried. Things like that. WHO CARES??? Why do I care? It's frustrating sometimes but nothing to be PISSED about... Will I ever get a grip?
More later. Maybe. HAPPY THURSDAY! Bleh.