I was nervous and my stomach has been upset. I'm feeling so bloated and uncomfortable in my skin today. I've cried more after telling myself that I was done with crying over the same spilled milk I've cried over since Friday.
But through it all, I went to the SHH Induction to give my inspirational speech to the new inductees. It was a great night for self-esteem both personally and professionally. I was honored with a beautiful, sweet smelling corsage that I will dry out and treasure along with the progmam. I got to see and sit next to my Spanish teacher from 20 years ago, in honor of whom the Chapter was named. There were a huge number of students on the stage, 84 I think. And they each had at least a parent in the auditorium. I needed to speak to this large crowd of mostly adults, on a podium, with all spotlights on me both in Spanish and in English. This is HUGE for me. I've always been intimidated by speaking to peers especially and am definitely not a stage person. I've never told my daughter this story but one dance recital, I completely froze up and ran off stage. I still have similar dreams to this. Then to have the task stress doubled by speaking to this audience in a language other than your own. Ive always been insecure speaking with adults for fear they will think I do not speak well.
Anyway, I digress. While giving my speech, I encountered many problems so like me (smile). For instance when I tried to move the microphone down and it came off in my hand. And when I lost my place during the English speech and decided to wing it. But all in all, with only minor awkward pauses lol...I did it and I feel good about it. The Principal congratulated me, the Asst. Superintendent had her picture taken with me and told me what a great job I did. The event photographer told me he thought it was great and that he could tell I appreciated where I came from and that I was now giving back and that according to him, "This is what it's all about." That made me feel good.
I didn't even feel my usual awkwardness at the reception afterwards. People were great towards me. I wasn't ignored like I'm used to. I was one of the last ones to leave.
I'm thankful that I was invited to do this and that I was able to do it and feel good about it.