glitter-graphics.comKeeps running through my mind and as it does, a small smile comes to my lips from knowing exactly how big this step is for me.

After asking me the same question four times on two different occasions just this afternoon, I just said it. And you know what? I didn't feel bad about saying it either. I didn't feel guilty for asserting my right to be happy.

He's still trying to be in control of me like he's been for twenty one years. He asked me when I brought my son to him today "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" (the legal separation and impending divorce) I said "Yes." He gave a disgusted look and I said "I am happy." He wanted me to say it again as he asked "You are?". I said "Yes, I'm really happy. And that's what you said you wanted, for me to be happy." He shot back a "What I really wanted was for you to be happy with me." That really is so untrue and wrong in so many ways that I'm not going to waste my energy or thoughts on explaining here. Anyway I left at this point.

But when I went back to bring my daughter to him after her dress rehearsal, he said he wanted to talk to me for a minute. He told me that he gets the impression that if he wasn't going to KY to meet his chick that maybe there would be a chance of us getting back together and he needed to know now. Apparently I hadn't been clear enough, because I have no clue why he'd think there was a chance. I said to him calmly and firmly "No, there is no chance." He just tapped my window and turned around back towards the kids.

This was very freeing tonight. I'm really learning to enjoy life. Like tonight at dress rehearsal: I would normally see it as a chore and be grumpy, but instead I really enjoyed myself and chatted with lots of people there. Of course it helped that I didn't have to bring my son with me and try to entertain him.