Lately I have only two emotions: sad or angry

This has been a quick but really tough week for me. My son *Brett* now has a matching road rash on his knee. It was shortly after school that *Brielle* came to tell me *Brett* was bleeding and a kid crashed into him on his bike on purpose, then laughed and took off.

This hot tempered Momma was pissed when I saw him coming down the road (not even crying) with blood running down till it soaked his sock and shoelaces. Why do people, even kids, have to be sooo mean?? I got him a washcloth and took off to talk to this boys parents.

Perhaps I should have waited a bit but hindsight's 20/20 and I was a Momma bear protecting her baby cub. I walked with the other kids who had witnessed it to their trailer/home and asked to speak to one of the boy's parents. The Mom came out first and I wasn't yelling but I was on the verge of hyper-ventilating in the way that you do when you're so upset and trying to keep an even keal all at the same time. It ended with the father coming out, with a broom, yelling obscenities at me while 4 construction workers and six kids including my daughter listened and watched as he called me a "fat f*** c***, fat b***, Get out of my yard, don't tell me what to do with my kid" Oh yes, it was a highlight of my week.

So I left his yard after telling him that he was a class-less loser. I came back and finished washing my son up and I called my ex to tell what happened. He went over and ended up having a peaceful resolution where the boys shook hands and said sorry. Why does he have to be the hero again. And what really bothers me...this guy saying all this stuff about me and of course my ex didn't stick up for me about that at all. He basically took the guys side that I was yelling at him and my ex says "yea, she was probably really upset and it's her baby." Personally I don't think excuses were needed for me. I didn't assault anybody. I just wanted them to correct their son.

The word out of all those that bother me the most...fat. Because that is the one that the whole world can so visibly see. Why does weight have to be a reason to belittle someone? Even among adults...it's really sad. And even though his wife had at least 50 lbs. on me and even though he was no small guy, another piece of self esteem was chipped away today. The pain I feel in my knee and ankles represent how scarred I am also on the inside.

I get mad. I cry.