This morning I woke up late and my daughter, who usually wakes up before me, was still asleep. It was a hectic morning and we got off to a late start. I'm getting a sty in my eye and it's very uncomfortable. It makes me want to close me eyes, therefore making me feel even more tired than I otherwise would.

After school today I went and got my prescriptions, which I should have done two days ago. I do it to myself every month. I really think I'm realizing some self-sabotaging behaviorisms I have...

My daughter had dance tonight but before that the kids played outside. It was a great Spring afternoon. I took the dogs for two walks over to see my Sis at different times tonight. I decided to do a few sit ups and use my arm weights to do some exercises tonight.

Tomorrow is my sister and her husband's 3rd anniversary. They seem like the perfect couple to me and my sister still agrees they are after 3 years. We talked about this today because I got a little sad, because the anniversary reminded me of my marriage. I envied knowing that her husband had suddenly got the day off and she had the day off so they were going to spend a quality day of hookie together on the anniversary of their wedding day. Then the more I pictured what I envied, the more I realized that even if I were to go back to my first wedding anniversary, never did we have a romantic day and night together. We were never lovey dovey like I see my sis and her husband. And not every person needs that kind of attention, but I do.

So I have to press on and remind myself once again that my lil sis is really my big sis in many ways. She's younger but has really experienced more life than I have. She waited eight years single before finding her current husband. I remember when she felt that there would never be anyone. I remember when she cried but I also remember seeing the fun she had with friends. But most of all I remember the advice she said will one day bring me to new dreams of romantic anniversaries and the other little things that separate me from happiness. She told me not to settle with the next person I meet. Not to settle for half of what I want or settle for close enough. And to learn from each experience as it will help me discover what I really want and need. She told me not to give up.

I'm feeling better tonight and hoping I'll feel even better tomorrow after taking my meds and the talk with my sis. I'm also thinking that this latest burst of sadness could be partially due to PMS. I'm bloated and craving both salt and chocolate!