It's a bright, sunny day after too many dark ones. Except this is only true of the weather and not my soul. Today I'm feeling dark and heavy.

I knew this path wasn't going to be a straight line yet every time I hit a zig zag, I act like I'm surprised! It came over me last night and it's still with me today. It's a heavy feeling.

I do think it has something to do with the connection that I had with my friend over the weekend. And our building of a strong friendship along side of the"garbage" that I still need to let go of. I guess I need to figure out what parts of the garbage are actually mine to get rid of and also identify the parts that aren't mine so I can realize I have no choice but to release that which I don't own.

My husband knows that I met him and the things we share in common and how nice I think you are. He's okay with it, happy for me, encouraging me to take the chance. This leaves me feeling unsettled. Feelings are so odd sometimes. I'm happy he and I have this strong friendship going and seem to communicate well and have lots to talk about. I can feel how over me my husband is when he talks to me about this man. And not in a mad, awful way...but it still doesn't feel good. I guess it's clear that I've still got a lot of work to do so I'm glad that that we were both up front and have agreed that strong friendship has to be the basis for a relationship.

I'm also thinking a bit about chemistry and I wonder: If it' not intitially there, could it ever be there? Could it be like love and develop over time or is it like Science as the word chemistry suggests? (either there is a positive reaction or there isn't...not well maybe if I leave it in there a while longer).

Ack! I think it's time for me to go to the pharmacy and pick up my meds. It may also be that time of the month...

Just keep telling myself. Tomorrow will most likely bring a day completely different than today. I've been through today and all it's trials. Night time brings sleep and sleep heals. A new day awaits.

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