Mary Flemming

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Username:: elkhound
Name:: Mary Flemming
Location:: Milford, DE
Birthday:: 11/15
Status:: Married

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Education > K through 12 > Bullying Again

Bullying Again

I had a call from the school today. Kota has been kicked off the bus for one day. It seems another child was calling him names and wouldn't stop so kota hit him. My question was, why is my son being punished but this bullying is continuing to happen? The bahavior coach didn't really have an answer. Just the usual, I have talked to both kids blah blah blah. Well I am sorry, that is not good enough for me! The kids know the school bus is the ideal place as their is little supervision! I have talked to kota about ignoring bullies. But that is really hard when they are calling you all kinds of names and other kids are laughing at it. So during spring break, I will write a letter to the principal, assistant principal and the behavior coach. I will also be at the next PTP meeting to discuss bullying on the bus. I am already collecting my research. The affects of bullying on children. I will not punish kota for this. I do not see it as his fault. He felt he could do nothing else but to hit. The behavior coach did say he thinks kota is a great kid. I said, yes I would like to keep him that way.

posted on Mar 19, 2008 12:54 PM ()

Comments:

Mary, do what you need to do. The verbal abuse can actually be worse, especially for those kids that endure it all the time. It eats away at their self-esteem until it's down to nothing. Plus, not only do the kids have to endure the verbal abuse, they then have to deal with all the other kids laughing at them. If I were you, since no one seems to be listening to you, go to the superintendent of the school there. Write a letter explaining what Kota is going through. Tell them you will involve the media if something is not done to ensure that your son will not be bullied anymore. The verbal abuse will only escalate. It will not stop until the school stops it.

(((hugs))) to Kota.

comment by hopefields on Mar 19, 2008 11:20 PM ()

I would suggest calling the school--follow up with a letter--asking for a meeting right away with all the adults involved including the kid's parents, the 'behavior' (HA!) couch, the teacher, the principal-- it's gone too far already--and, yes, threaten to sue, to go to the papers, etc. and tell them you will if it isn't taken care of immediately--it will only escalate if it's not stopped.

comment by greatmartin on Mar 19, 2008 6:40 PM ()

This is not on! Write a seriously nasty threatening letter, acuse the school of condoning bullying and mention the tabloids - they'll soon pull they're fingers out

P.s WTG KOTA

< ---FOR kOTA

comment by lynnie on Mar 19, 2008 5:29 PM ()

sometimes you just have to fight back. this might be something you need to speak to the bullying child's parents and mention a lawsuit to them and the school if things don't straighten out. that should settle things. sometimes ya just gotta get 'em where they live.

reguards
yer that's why God invented attorneys pal
bugg

comment by honeybugg on Mar 19, 2008 5:02 PM ()

Been there with my older son. You have to stand up or nothing will get changed!

I'm with you my friend!

comment by teacherwoman on Mar 19, 2008 4:35 PM ()

What is behavior coach? Poor Dakota.

comment by cindy on Mar 19, 2008 3:27 PM ()

You know, it might not be a bad idea to have adults take turns riding the bus for a while. If you mention it to the authorities, I bet they will think of something! With kids killing kids in schools,it seems that someone would pay attention to the bullying and enforce a no tolerance rule.

comment by angiedw on Mar 19, 2008 2:31 PM ()

ps.... when Brad broke the boys nose, a group of them had him cornered by his locker... He was "trying" to get away and they wouldn't let him... I still to this day consider it self defense...
God I just hate Bullies!

comment by greeneyedgemini on Mar 19, 2008 2:16 PM ()

Mary I have been in your exact shoes many many times!!! It also angered me to read this as I feel for Dakota!

My oldest son who will graduate this May endured bullying for YEARS! I went in circles with the school system here. Finally one day Bradly had enough and broke a boys nose. They tried to suspend him... I told them I would fight them and the boys parents in court! They backed down and both boys ended up with ISS. Eventually I gave up on the schools and went DIRECTLY to the parents!!! Believe me, when it comes to my kids I get angry and I will defend them till my death!
And actually, in dealing with the parents one on one, many of them said they had NO IDEA this was even going on... ($$@!@%#@%) I was floored... So if you can, try to call the parents of the kids who are bullying him so badly, they might not even know their kids are doing this -

**KISSES AND HUGS** to Kota!!!

comment by greeneyedgemini on Mar 19, 2008 2:12 PM ()

Bullying is a big problem and sometimes teachers who were never bullied when they were kids, don't see how hurtful it can be. It really can mess a kid's mind up. Kota is lucky having an understanding Mom like you. Hopefully this will be handled by the counselor guy and the school so Kota won't feel like he's in the wrong for looking out for himself.

comment by mattguru18 on Mar 19, 2008 2:11 PM ()

Something need to be worked out there.I would talk to the
bully to find out what is his problem.
How does the bus driver feel about this?
Is this person a big guy,little guy etc.
Most of this is it verbal abuse.
Is is the same person?There is a problem there.
Do they have a guidance teacher to talk.
This could be worse,if things do not work out with either
party.Good luck.No need for this.

comment by fredo on Mar 19, 2008 1:44 PM ()

I totally agree with you. There's no reason he should be punished for defending himself.

comment by mrsstu on Mar 19, 2008 1:32 PM ()

grrrr
My face turned into an immediate scowl upon reading this...
But what is a behavior coach?

comment by kristilyn3 on Mar 19, 2008 1:25 PM ()

Wow... that's tough. I know people who were continually bullied as children, and even in their 40's they still carry a lot of the pain. Good luck with your research -- and, good for you being proactive about all this.

comment by mellowdee on Mar 19, 2008 1:22 PM ()

Poor Kota. I will have to ask Ray how they deal with bullying on the bus and what would happen if the victim hit the perpetrator.
AJ

comment by lunarhunk on Mar 19, 2008 12:57 PM ()

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Bullying Again