I was having a case of holiday blues, but one major thing that was bugging me is solved. For at least the last 5 years, I'd been sort of a lone straggler invited to my sister's in-laws family house. Really had no where else to go.

Each year, I'd been informed at the last minute what the gifts arrangement was going to be. After 20 years of their knowing me, I thought maybe I could be consulted about it too, but no; I get told (by my apologetic sister) that they're all going to draw names (and she even tells me what name I got) or if they aren't really giving gifts this year except to the elderly parents.

And they don't even stick to those rules. The plan seems to change before I get there. What hurts, though, is when things I've brought -- whether it's gifts or food -- are treated as if they're actually unwelcome. It's strange how the more times people repeat to you that you're "perfectly welcome" to come, the less welcoming it feels. I thought, in past years, that I was part of the family. But it's not so.

They're an odd bunch, and I needed a break from them. I want to see just my own immediate family. And that's what I'll get, since we're getting together before Christmas, and then both sisters have to work both Christmas and Christmas Eve. (Both work in hospitals. One's a nurse and since she was off last Christmas, she works this one.)

And I get to cook something for people who want me to. Yay.