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Life & Events > Relationships > Suggestions Please!
 

Suggestions Please!

Help! How can I prevent my mother from leaving for Florida this weekend?

My mom has had some tests to rule out Alzheimer's Diseease and nothing seemed to show up. Then the doc ordered an MRI. We got the results Tuesday.

The doc called me first, so that we could "strategize" and I would have the actual facts. It shows changes in one location and some dark spots in
her hippocampi; and overall shrinkage of the brain. He didn't see any tumors.

He said he can't dx alzheimers from the scan. I didn't understand his reasoning there but... He suggested that she have some neuro-psych testing as a next step. Then he agreed to "strongly suggest" that she stays here instead of going to Florida.

According to the Alzheimer's association, the brain changes she's got occur in AD and are used to diagnose it.

I really didn't know what to expect from her so I waited a day to call
her. She was in the best mood I've heard from her in months! She was
absolutely delighted because (in a nutshell) "he said he wants me to
try some medicine and I don't have to start until after I get back from Florida."

I told her that wasn't what he told me. I only told her part of what he said to me. She claims he didn't say anything about her trip, or
brain shrinkage or neuro-psych tests or a follow up appointment with
him and anyway, "I won't be here then."

The problem is that she insists that she's leaving tomorrow or Sunday for Florida. I really need to keep her here until Monday when we have an appointment with the doc so we can both hear the same things at the same time.

Any ideas on keeping her here? It's too bad that today's cars aren't like my 64 Chevy or 65 VW Microbus... I'd know how to do something easily reversible.





I should have added more background so here it is: My first big concern was in May when she got lost on the way to my house. Then in September, she didn't recognize me when I stopped over to visit unannounced.
She doesn't understand how far the problems have progressed. She doesn't know what she forgets and insists that I'm exaggerating. She denies the cognitive problems and weird behavior.

posted on Jan 2, 2009 12:05 PM ()

Comments:

I'm sorry I read this so late, but I really have no suggestions for you. All I have is sympathy. I've gone the AD route with two close relatives, and it is a sad, taxing, and frustrating scenario.
comment by hayduke on Jan 7, 2009 9:28 AM ()
So sorry you are facing this chapter in your life. It is a hard one because Alzheimer's is so difficult to actually diagnose. Often it is in the late stages before the MD puts a name on the disease that robs the brain. Of course you should pound on the doctor's desk and keep asking questions. Keep them informed of your mother's condition. Please do keep her off the road. She will not have the cognitive ability to know she may kill an innocent person. My prayers are with you.
comment by mzscarlett on Jan 6, 2009 10:02 AM ()
Other than the suggestions below, I'd say break her legs. Radical, but effective. (I'm truly sorry you're having to deal with this.)
comment by solitaire on Jan 4, 2009 7:18 AM ()
You have a major problem! My mother has the same problem. First thing you have got to do is take her car keys. She has no business driving ANYWHERE. I know what I am talking about. We had to take my mother's car away from her when she kept getting lost. She is in middle stages of Alzheimers now; but in a nursing home.
comment by redimpala on Jan 3, 2009 6:54 PM ()
I'd go to the source and ask the doctor to communicate directly with her and tell her she shouldn't go. Perhaps he doesn't know of the impending problem and would step in to prevent a catastrophe if he knew...
comment by looserobes on Jan 3, 2009 7:33 AM ()
I wish you knew someone who could go with your mother. On a longer term solution, google Alzheimers support, Detroit. Eldercare in Detroit might be able to put you in touch with a support group for relatives. You can get a lot of info from such groups and also strategies. These sites also offer info on senior facilities such as assisted living, etc., and I know it is too soon for that (or is it?) Years ago I hired for $9 an hour, a home health aide to care for my late husband. I was working then. I wish you the best. Don't try to figure this out all by yourself. Talk to the people who deal with it all the time.
comment by tealstar on Jan 3, 2009 5:28 AM ()
Find the way that she is going, write it all down for her and then notify the authorities to check on her. Set a time that she is to call you everyday and be patient. And put your name and phone number in the glove box, on her bags and somewhere on her person.
comment by sumkindabich on Jan 3, 2009 2:58 AM ()
a dilemma for you.... indeed. I don't know....I kinda dealing with my dad on this, but he is hasn't gone Over The Line yet... still drives to Walmart everyday.....
comment by cindy on Jan 2, 2009 7:54 PM ()
My children, and grandchildren had been trying to talk me out of moving to Pensacola Beach in Aug 2009, with a teaching job at the jr. college -- until they learned that all of the houses that I have been looking at have many extra bedrooms -- for visitors -- now it can not be soon enough!!!
comment by oldfatguy on Jan 2, 2009 1:32 PM ()
I agree with Fredo about too many questions. And Kristilyn's question is interesting too: Does she understand what's at steak? Maybe she does understand and wants to do her thing while she still can. Sorry, but I have no suggestions to offer either. Good luck,
comment by jjoohhnn on Jan 2, 2009 1:13 PM ()
Well not sure,maybe you can slowly talk her out and come out with it.
The way that I figured.Does she know this is happening?
If so maybe this is a long shot,she wants to go just in case something happen.Can she go for a time and then will she come back.
Or,as the doctor what he thinks of this matter.
Questions,questions,this is what we got to ask.
How long will she be gone?who is going to watch her there.
You have to be strong and work this out.
Do not give up.Well this is not a advice just some suggestion.
What is the difference.Advice or Suggestion
Good luck.
comment by fredo on Jan 2, 2009 12:22 PM ()
quite the dilemma... I wish I had some sound advice but I do not... does she not understand what's at stake?
comment by kristilyn3 on Jan 2, 2009 12:11 PM ()

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