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Wicked End Of The Stick

Entertainment > Humor > Diary of an Apocalypse Casualty

Diary of an Apocalypse Casualty

If the Apocalypse does happen I am going to die. I am just putting it out there.

I have no supplies number one. We don't have emergency water stored up. None. No extra liquids in this house. Even our giant jar of pickles ha been reduced to the most dried out naked and embarrassed Gherkins you have ever seen.

Food supply are you kidding me? My freezer is a sad barren place that many here just open and stare blankly into in the hopes that maybe just maybe there are a few tater tots or a forgotten burrito stashed somewhere behind the emptiness.

What about canned food you ask? Well you see there are a few cans of random soup, one cranberry sauce and five small cans of black olives. The problem is my can opener went tits up about a month ago. Sure we could use a knife but we only have one that has been retired to light duty.

I have a small stash of cookies but those my friends are nobodies business.

My first aid kit consist of one gauze pad, one emergency flare, a rain poncho and three safety pins.

I have a house littered with candles burned three quarters down. We would have light for about an hour. We have no alternate light or heat supply. We even fight for blankets in this house and my winter jacket is too small and has a blown out zipper.

Do I won socks?

My cell phone is at 20% power.

I have eleven dollars worth of gas in the car...

I am starting to scare myself. I mean forget about the Apocalypse. If Walgreen's ever is closed for more than 24 hours we are all going to DIE!

posted on Nov 29, 2012 9:03 PM ()


I'm not ready either. Left my food storage when we moved. Always wanted a house that we could hunker down in during an emergency but it hasn't happened yet. Hope the 'apocalyps' doesn't happen anytime soon!
comment by maggiemae on Dec 9, 2012 8:27 PM ()
Stock up girl! That would drive me a bit nutty...
comment by kristilyn3 on Dec 6, 2012 11:50 AM ()
Cherish your stash of cookies and keep them firmly hidden!
comment by elderjane on Nov 30, 2012 8:09 AM ()
comment by jondude on Nov 30, 2012 5:59 AM ()
what more can one say --- at least buy a boat and fishing gear
comment by kevinshere on Nov 30, 2012 1:42 AM ()
Disaster preparedness is like being a teenager getting advice from mom and dad - we have to feel the pain of our bad decisions first-hand in order to get motivated to get started on planning.
comment by troutbend on Nov 29, 2012 10:22 PM ()

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