So I thought now that the Vagina Monologues were over I would be able to rid my brain of the word that makes me nervous. I have discovered since about this time yesterday not only will vagina be dancing in the back of my mind it will be joined with uterus and fetus.

I had forgotten about my uterus. I thought it had closed up shop. Well a tenant has moved in and is redecorating and getting to know the place.

So the first life changing event of the New Year and a very welcome one. No more cigarettes? Ouch, but give me a minute please. I don't know if you understand how it feels to have to just break up with smoking.

It's an ugly ordeal. I quit for a while last year and then started back up secretly until I was caught. It was like sneaking around with some dude your family hates. I would go hours sometimes days without giving in to the endless calls of my ex, then one day I am pretending to throw out the garbage and end up making out with some random cigarette behind the garage. Best cigarette ever it was defiantly classified as forbidden love. I was finally caught red handed as me and a cigarette embraced each other. I had to tell my family "Me and cigarettes are in love and we don't care who knows!"

Well we are headed for some rough waters. I am quiting, just give me a second to say good bye.

Ode To New Port