On Monday, the 19th I was scheduled for a colonoscopy so they could find out why I am anemic, a condition discovered when I had to go to the hospital after doubling over at the Publix market and not recovering. The night before, I dutifully forced down 64 ounces of an oily mixture of Gatorade and Miralax. I was to repeat this beginning at 6 the following morning, before showing up for the procedure at noon. About 2 ½ hours after finishing the first prep, I began to shake, got chills, and spent the next four hours vomiting violently. It appeared, however, that my body had been cleared, and I could indeed have the procedure without doing the 2nd prep. Even if that were not the case, I was not about to drink any more of the vile mixture, and was prepared to nix the entire event.

I awakened at 4 a.m. and stayed up, diddling and dawdling on the computer, unable to sleep. When 8 a.m. rolled around, I called the medical staff and told them what had happened and they thought I should come in and go ahead with it, so I did. Ed drove me, of course, and waited till I was finished. A male nurse was assigned to me. He said he was 60, but looked to be no more than 42. He was cute. I told him so. He gave me a hug and a kiss when I left. I told the staff that now that they had seen me without eye make-up, I’d have to kill them all.

The prep I had already done had worked. No abnormal condition was found, no pathology. They then scheduled an upper endoscopy for Wednesday morning, the day before Thanksgiving. I had ordered a turkey at Publix market, so I called them and said I would pick it up Tuesday instead of Wednesday. That was today. When I went to my car, it wouldn’t start. I called Triple A and the guy couldn’t start it. He called a tow truck and I am waiting for that now. They will tow it to Pine Island Auto, who can presumably find out what is wrong. There is no charge for a tow under 5 miles. Meanwhile, life was closing in so I rescheduled the endoscopy procedure to Dec. 5. I have enough on my plate right now and recovering from the 2nd test while getting ready for T dinner was just not working out.

Ed was willing to get a pizza since I had been told to really not do much of anything while recovering. But a call to our pizza place wouldn’t go through. We drove down there. It’s at the end of our street where it meets the big road. It was closed, no note of explanation on the door. A fellow patron came by just then and said it had been closed for several days. Lilliana is running it by herself since her husband died. Our back-up plan was to eat out, so we drove to another pizza place, also closed. Then we drove to the Surfside mall and ate at a diner called Paradise, and it wasn’t. We brought leftovers home, but I am planning to dump them.

Meanwhile, I finally reached Ed who was doing guardian business afield, and he said he would pick up the turkey. He has invited two people to dinner. I must clear the house as best I can because all surfaces are covered with his work product. This is an enormous task. Note to self: talk to Ed about making plans without a consultation.

And I just got a call from Triple A. The tow company can’t do it and they are looking for another one. Could anything else go wrong? Also, at this point, it does indeed look as if I won’t get my car back till perhaps the Monday after Thanksgiving, if I am lucky.

And this morning I poured the remaining 64 ounces of mixture down the sink, laughing maniacally the whole time.

That’s all, folk.

P.S. Something else did go wrong. I ordered a cooked turkey, needing only to be reheated, and 4 containers of orange-cranberry relish and not the complete dinner they offer because their side dishes are awful. So they gave Ed the complete dinner and just one orange-cranberry relish. Ed also overbought on stuffings (3 packages that will go stale before I can use them) and chicken broth, low sodium, that I don't like. Since I will use their mashed potato offering, it looks like I won't be using the chicken broth either.

xx, Teal